Home Management Binder: The Kitchen

If you missed it, the first post in this series is here!

This idea came to me while in the shower. It may be my best idea yet.

Seriously.

About a year ago, I set to work planning a year's worth of meal plans and shopping lists after seeing this pin. I re-designed the cover to fit my style and printed out all the calendars and shopping lists I needed. I even filled out a few months and figured out the shopping lists. And I was overwhelmed. There was no freedom! I don't KNOW what my family wants to eat on a wednesday night in May. I don't KNOW if that day will be rainy or sunny or if we'll have a baseball game we want to go to. I don't KNOW if there will be a family we need to take dinner to. I don't know. I felt stifled. What if I want to try a new recipe? Do I have to schedule that MONTHS in advance? For real? Who plans like that?! And it wasn't reasonable.

So, I went to the other extreme. Which was back to my pick the meals, make the list, do the shopping, etc. And it made me crazy because I was putting SO much brain power into creative menus each and every time. I was re-doing things that didn't need to be re-done.

And then that beautiful day in a hot shower came. And I was at my mother's house. And I was stealing my little sister's awesome Bath and Body Works body wash because heaven knows we can't afford that fancy stuff. And I was thinking about how awesome Photoshop actions are. What a genius idea to RECORD THE PROCESSES WE DO OVER AND OVER AGAIN TO MAKE THEM HAPPEN SO FAST, WITH JUST THE CLICK OF A MOUSE. Did you catch that?

And I have no idea how, but it clicked. I am going to make my kitchen management into a set of Photoshop actions, so to speak. And so I did.

I started by making lists of ten dinners and side dishes. I ended up with 8 sets of ten. I decided on ten instead of fourteen, because without fail, we have leftovers once a week and then we either go on a date or meet up with friends or have breakfast for dinner, or whatever for the others. When I plan fourteen meals, we always end up wasting food. When making them, I kept to a loose guideline of 4 chicken meals, 3 ground beef, 3 other. It made for variety and it's what my family eats. It also ensures that each meal plan costs about the same in groceries. Also, mentally, when making the menus I would try to keep a good balance of time-intensive meals, quick meals and crock pot meals. I didn't stress out about this. Looking at the menu, you can pretty much tell [whoa, that's a lot. That can't go on the same menu. Or, well...those are all pretty easy, so I'm sure we'll want a fancy meal in there somewhere...etc.]

And then I made the menu pages cute. Because my next big problem AFTER going shopping was I had my dinner plans and my grocery list on the same piece of paper and I would take it to the store and then shove it in a grocery sack and it would get mixed up with all the other clutter in my car and then I would have no idea what dinners I even had stuff for. Now that it's cute, once I go shopping, I put it up on my fridge. The shopping list is still on the same page, but I swear, the cuteness keeps me from losing it in the clutter. I've done 4 menus so far and haven't lost a single one. Magic.



And then, the doozy. I made the shopping list. WITH the intention of using it again. That's a big deal. Before I was RECORDING MY ACTIONS, I would go through each recipe and only write down the ingredients I needed. Mentally I would check off "well, I have that, and that, and that, so all I need for this recipe is tilapia!" And it made for a shorter list, but that list was useless to me later on. I would never be able to use the information I spent so much time gathering again. So, I made each shopping list for ten meals as if I needed to buy every, single, little, thing in every, single recipe. This means my lists include cornstarch, measurements of milk, butter, eggs, spices, etc. [The side dishes are noted with an item x1 or x3 depending on how many times we'll be eating that side dish during the next 14 days.] And so, when I'm needing to go grocery shopping, I pick a list and shop from my cupboards first, crossing off anything we have already. And then I head to the store. So much faster. And less time pouring over recipes. More time for more fun things!

And then I made them cute.

I have eight menu plans. Four of them have shopping lists done. We have eaten our way through menu plans 1, 3, 6 & 7. Some menus lend themselves to summer months. Others have more hearty meals for winter months. All of them are delicious. And just flipping through the menus I can easily see what sounds good for that time of year without stressing about it. I can also ask Cam what sounds good and pick the meal plan that includes. It's the best thing. And it has helped me so SO much, so how could I not share?

Here is meal plan #1.

I realize these are for OUR family. These are meals that we love and I have made before. I could never use someone else's meal plan because our favorites would get lost. Which is why I went into so much detail about how I came up with each of our menus. Also, we are humans. We eat relatively healthy. And quite frankly, if you are eating home cooked food instead of fast food, you're already two steps up in my book. However, we are not vegan. We are not uber granola people. We are humans. So we like pizza. And burgers. And breaded chicken. And [heaven forbid] a cream of something soup sometimes. [Though my mom turned me on to a DIY cream of something soup. And it doesn't have any MSG in it, so I'm pretty pumped to try it. PLUS, it's cheaper. So yeah, I might be swapping that out.]

If you click on the image above, you can print out the menu and shopping list. And the recipes are linked below. But I would highly recommend sitting down and making lists of ten. Plan the sides too, so you don't end up with a bunch of extra salad that goes bad. It is effort in the beginning, but it is so worth it. Seriously. I print 3 pages front and back, and end up with six copies of each meal plan in my binder. I am halfway done making my shopping lists and once I finish that, I can have a huge variety of meals for 2 years before having to think about it again! And if I want to try a new recipe? Well, I only have 10 recipes each time, so I can go right ahead! And if I find a keeper? All I have to do is make a new meal plan, or swap it out for a recipe we don't like as much from one of the existing meal plans. There is so much flexibility, it just makes my heart sing.

I am happy to make your menus cute if you so desire. I will even lay them out with your shopping lists on the back. I charge $5 to customize any of my printables [text changes only].

Menus for Humans. I like that. I'll post the other menus if you're interested? Comment and let me know! [No, commenting on FB doesn't count. :)]

Anyhow, the other part of my kitchen section is the freezer tally.

(Click picture to download printable.)

With everything that I make and freeze, I [used] to forget about a lot of stuff in there and then when the time came to clean it out, I had wasted so much food that I was putting away for later. Now, I keep one of these sheets on the door of our freezer and jot down stuff as it goes in and cross stuff off when it comes out. So great! Like the night I didn't want to cook and had made a double batch of pizza rolls? yep, we ate so good that night! And the other night when we had inside-out springroll salad and I didn't know if Cam would like the dressing, but I knew he LOVED my mom's wonton sauce? It was in the freezer, and I had actually forgotten about it until I was halfway through making dinner. A quick defrost, and now I HAVE to share that recipe with you. Because it was a total cheap veggie meal that Cam actually requested a huge bowl of in his lunch the next day. ["Just give me a huge bowl of this. That's all I want tomorrow."<--those words actually came out of his mouth. Nuts.]

Anyhow, this seriously is the best thing in my little organizational world right now. I love the kitchen section! And it helps to have extra copies, because when I'm filling out my daily docket, I know exactly what's on the menu plan. It's all right there in my binder. I love it.

Here are Menu Plan #1's recipes:

OMG Chicken with green beans
Olive Garden Alfredo with tomatoes + salad
Honey Sesame Chicken with best broccoli
Bacon Cheeseburger Chicken with mashed potatoes + salad
Italian Meatloaf with butterhorns + salad
Taco Burros + salad [a favorite from Cam's childhood. Taco meat, refried beans, tortillas, cheese, salsa]
Sunday Meal + salad [another favorite from Cam's childhood. I'll have to post the recipe!]
Tortellini Spinach Bake with watermelon + corn
Pizza Rolls + salad
Garlicky Baked Shrimp with green beans

Six Months Old

Six months. Today my boys are closer to being a year old than they are to being newborns. That is crazy! [It is also my goal for breastfeeding them, so I'm pretty proud of that! Anything from here on out is just a bonus. Good job body!] I have had my first twinges of "they're growing up so fast!" I really am loving the stage they're in right now. We are finally settled into our own home and I couldn't be happier. The boys have their own nursery, something I've dreamt about for years. They are goofy, mischievous, sweet, kind, hilarious, flirtatious BOYS. It is a blast. They have experienced a whole lot of "firsts" this month and watching them experience new things never gets old.

My thoughts lately have been turned to teaching. I have always believed that children are more intelligent and perceptive than we give them credit for. I try to remember that everything that I do teaches them something. Without saying a word I can teach them that they are important to me, that I love them, that their daddy loves them, that sometimes it is time for work instead of play, that we do not ask for food by screaming, that we must be kind to our brothers, that church is a reverent time, that we do not roll over in the bathtub, that sometimes mommy is sad, that God is real, that it is important to learn how to be patient, that sometimes a few tears [from both me and my boys] is worth it if it means we raise independent, strong, decisive men rather than clingy, insecure, boys. They are always learning. I am always learning too. Because isn't that how it always works? The teacher learns more anyhow. I sure think so. I'm learning every day what each of my boys needs. And I am learning how to balance all the demands on my time. I'm learning how to be the best mom I can be. And that's all I can expect of myself. Not realizing there's a learning curve is a fast track to the guilt train. I have better things to do with my time than wallowing in self-pity. So I do my best, and give each day a fresh start to try again. And if I do better tomorrow than I did today, I call that success.



My Nash boy loves music. He could listen to Cameron play the piano for hours. He is quite particular though and will definitely let you know if he doesn't like the song. I love how they have preferences and opinions already! It makes me so happy. It also makes me wonder how other people see my boys, because until I had my own children, babies were all the same to me. Now that I have my own, I see them for the people they are. And it blows my mind how complex they are. Nash has also taken a major liking to his Daddy. For a while there I had two momma's boys, but I have since been trumped. Nash LIVES for when Cameron comes home. He will get through the day. Flash me a smile every now and again, but when Dad walks through the door? He is a whole new guy. Smiles and laughing and talking non-stop. He kicks his legs, demands to be held by dad, and doesn't care what Dad is doing, he needs to be right there. It is so fun to watch.



I talk a lot about loving to watch my motherhood dreams come true. Well, a big part of that is also getting to watch Cam do the things he's always dreamed of. And this month he got a double whammy. He's always wanted to have a yard to take care of. He loves working outside. So he was on cloud nine when he got to mow the lawn with his son.



Cloth diapering took a bit of a hit this month. We went to Lake Powell and I wasn't about to do laundry on the lake, so we used disposables. It was a nice break, but honestly I still prefer cloth. It is not a whole lot of extra work, and the financial benefit is exactly what we need right now. Also, they are CUTE. And I'm so happy with how they're holding up. It makes me giddy to see my boys in their "pirates' booties." Cutie Patooties. We have also taken to sucking on everything. Fingers, arms, mom's hair, necklaces, toys, blankets, etc. Gums are nice and swollen and we've run a few fevers, but nothing has broken through yet. And they have only had a few extra fussy days. I'm sure the worst is yet to come, but I can't wait to see their cute little grins with baby teeth in them!



I made a couple more ties for my boys out of my sister's silky pink pajama material. I absolutely adore white shirts and ties on my boys for Sunday. They look so handsome. And I hope it helps them learn that we show respect on Sunday and that Sunday is a special day. I don't even begin to think that our Sundays are super restful, because they're not. A couple weeks ago, I sent my mom a text about like this, "Mom, WHY do I even come? I can nurse and wrestle my boys at home, and they will probably take better naps there." But, it's about consistency. Her response was, "We did our time. :)" And she's right.



We. Are. Squirmy. Gray has declared mutiny on his car seat. He hates it. And he will wiggle out of it whenever we give him the chance. He does, however, love the high chair because that means food is coming. Both boys are moving around like crazy. Scooching everywhere. I love it. Wrestling has also begun. Nash will roll over until he's laying across Gray and they both try to grab onto each others arms for a snack. Hilarious to watch. And they have the best time.



This is the closest picture I have of Nash's "bird lip." He absolutely can't hide any of his emotions. I love that about him. When he starts to get mad or sad, and doesn't want to cry, he sticks out his lips like a little bird. They get all pointy and he scrunches up his face. He always ends up crying, but bless his heart for trying. Those beautiful blue eyes don't hurt either. Oh what a handsome boy!



My sweet Gray baby. Gray has taken to talking. And he likes it a lot. He will also grin and give me the one eyebrow raise. It makes my heart just soar. Sometimes he gabs in this adorable babbly voice, and other times he talks like a growly frog. Normally when he's talking like a frog, he is talking to his hand. I just love watching him explore his world. I can't wait until he can tell me what he thinks about everything.



Ah, food. We introduced "real" food to the boys this month. Shortly after moving to Texas actually. It took Nash a little while to get used to a spoon. He was quite suspicious of the whole thing. But now, we have had Bananas, Oatmeal, Apples, Peaches, Sweet Potatoes, Green Beans, Avocado, and Carrots. And we love them all. I read somewhere that you should offer a new food 10 times before deciding that your baby doesn't like it. We have yet to even act like something doesn't taste good. Mostly, Cameron and I move as fast as we can to get the food in their mouths fast enough.



And Gray. Gray was never suspicious of a spoon. He greeted it like a long lost friend. Whenever we put him in his high chair, he gets this look on his face like "YES. I was MADE for this!" And he was. He is such a good eater! It does get tricky every now and again when Cameron gets stuck in traffic on his way home from school. I've learned that the boys are smart. And they are smart enough to learn patience, so long as they know the food is on its way, we can get through dinner without a total meltdown. To accomplish this, I count. "One...and Two for my Nash; One...and Two for my Gray." If I count, all is well. I think they've learned the rhythm and understand what part of the rhythm is their turn to eat. I tested my theory and tried just giving two bites to each boy without counting. And mass mayhem ensued. So yeah, they know. Smart cookies.



The couch is a favorite. We love looking out the window at the trees in our front yard. There is also a train that goes by 3 times a day right outside our backyard fence. That is a favorite part of the day. So much so that even if the boys are eating, we stop and take a moment to experience the train. Once the rumbling stops, the meal resumes.



Bathtime! Along with real food comes a bath every night. I put a few inches of water in the bottom of the tub and just let the boys play for a while before we soap up. They kick and splash and suck on each others' limbs. We're working on not drinking the water. They love the dinosaur squirters Grammy bought them and sucking on the washcloth. It crossed my mind that sucking on the washcloth is...gross. And I took it away once or twice, but it is not going to kill them! And they are boys. I vote they get messy. There are too many things that childhoods miss out on these days because of how society has changed and the creepers that are living in neighborhoods across the map. A washcloth? It's not going to make it on my worry list. This approach to bathtime [letting them play] has resulted in a few more peeings in the tub. They get so excited and after they pee they just crack up. It is too fun to watch.



Nash is a rolling machine. He can flip over so fast. However, he refuses to roll back the other way. Instead he just gets mad. When I get the boys out of the tub, if I'm by myself, I just drain the tub and get one out, wrap him in a towel, and get the other out, so no one is in the water unattended. The first time I did this, I got Nash out, wrapped him up and laid him on the bathroom floor, and in the time I turned around to get Gray, Nash had flipped over and wriggled out of his towel so his cute nudey-bum was out for the world to see. Cute kid. And he was so proud of himself. These boys sure love being naked.



We've settled into a really great bedtime routine. After the boys eat dinner, they play while Cam and I eat. And then we all go upstairs for baths, lotion and jammies. Then Dad reads us a few stories while I nurse each boy, [unless he isn't home yet, then I read the Dad Book to the boys] followed by scriptures. Then we have family prayer, and learn about folding our arms, and bedtime kisses, then lights out. And the boys generally sleep for 11-12 hours. It is wonderful. I love them so much. They are such amazing kids. One of my favorite parts of the day is when Cam and I go back in to the nursery before we head to bed. We give each boy a kiss on the forehead, and then Cam pulls me close and kisses me on the forehead too. Everyone should get the opportunity to watch their sleeping baby. It is the most peaceful sense of amazement and wonder I have ever experienced. The love that abounds in that room is so sacred to me.



Gray has this new "trick" that he is so proud of. He just loves showing off his bottom gums. And then he bites, over and over and over again. He is a talker now too, which makes me so happy. He is my quiet one right now. Nash loves the loud and crazy, and Gray gets his giggles over quiet, sneaky things. If I sing doop de doop de doop de do and kiss his nose, he goes wild. Nash, however, likes it when I pound my head into his chest, or tickle him HARD. I love knowing my boys on such an individual level. They are my SONS, not just "the twins."



We have discovered the wonder that is "Busytown Mysteries." The boys love the themesong. And it is the reason I can shower and make our bed every day. And, if I do a crossfit workout that day, or just the Back on Pointe circuit from Pinterest, I can get a workout AND a shower in one episode. Half the time I come back downstairs, and Nash has started a wrestling match, so they don't really watch it for more than 10 minutes or so, but it sure is nice to have that break!



Dad is a boy too. And boys like to be outside. One time I came home from the store, and Cam had the boys in our backyard on the picnic blanket. It makes me so happy to see all three of my boys having fun together. I married such a good man. He is the best dad. He has been so patient waiting until the boys are strong enough to play rough.



And like every good dad, he has started the Star Wars education early. You should've seen these boys listen to him read "What is a Wookiee." I am in little boy land over here, and I love it. So much fun.



The boys have gotten so much heavier, that when dad mows the lawn now, they sit in their high chairs and watch him out the back door.



We are also now in size 9 month clothes. Actually, Gray fits a lot of 12 month stuff. They are BIG boys! I need to find a pediatrician out here so we can schedule their 6 month appointment. I'm curious to know where they fall as far as height and weight go. I love my big tall boys. Another thing I have come to love is singing my boys to sleep. If Nash is fussy, a primary song or two will help him calm down almost instantly. And if that fails, "All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey is considered our "heavy hitter." I love feeling needed by them. I love that they know my voice. I love being able to calm them down and help them sleep. I love being their mom.



This picture was taken the morning they turned 6 months old. Right before church. We were speaking in church that day and I was nervous about leaving them with friends in the congregation while I gave my talk. They picked this Sunday to be absolute angels. Just played and sat with their hands folded the entire time. And then when we got home, they took a monster long nap before dinner. Can't ask for any more than that! We sure are the luckiest.

Garage Sale Score!

During the week I was in Flagstaff while Cam was driving all over the country, my dad watched the boys so my mom and I could hit a few garage sales. One boasted a bunch of baby toys so we went out with high hopes. That one turned out to be a bust. BUT, there were signs all over the neighborhood for other garage sales so away we went.

We pulled onto a pretty deserted road and after a quick pep talk to my mother about how if there is satan music, we are not getting out of the car [once upon a time, her and I stumbled into a bad craigslist situation with potentially stolen leather couches, satan music, and wannabe pro-wrestler salesmen...perhaps I should tell that story sometime...lol] we pulled into a storage complex. The "garage sale" was in a couple units on the front row. We drove by the unit, decided there were no toys and started to pull a U-ey. My mom had driven by the unit again on the way out and I made her back up. I couldn't tell if it was a camping chair or a stroller, but I jumped out to give it a better look. Folded up in the corner was a double umbrella stroller!

We bought it for $25 before we realized we couldn't get it to open. A half hour of working on it with my dad and we had ourselves a darn near perfect umbrella stroller for the boys. And so we went on a walk. And it rocked.

This is my ticket out of the house. It is so much easier to pick up and go when I don't have to haul the carseats and that massive stroller. And the boys get to hold hands if they want. Win-win. We have fully enjoyed it so far.

AND last major perk, we were pretty calculated as to what we could take on the flight for free and the ONLY other thing we could possibly bring was another stroller. Two babies, two strollers. Boom.

English Muffin Bread

YOU GUYS. Stop whatever you are doing and go make this bread right now. For real. It is the easiest, yummiest thing you will ever make. [Besides putting chocolate chips on a scoop of peanut butter and horking it down.] I made the entire recipe with Gray on my hip. [poor babe is teething.] AND, we have eaten half the muffins and half a loaf already. And Cam is currently toasting two more slices for immediate consumption.

Recipe found on Pinterest; originally from: One Good Thing by Jillee

ENGLISH MUFFIN BREAD

• 5.5 cups warm water


• 11 cups flour


• 3 packages rapid rise yeast


• 2 tablespoons salt


• 3 tablespoons sugar

Mix it all together. Spoon into 4 greased loaf pans. Let rise to the top of the pans and bake at 350 for 35-45 minutes or until golden brown. Let cool completely before slicing.

 



I admit I was skeptical that the batter/dough would reach the top of the pans, but it totally did. And it baked up beautifully. I didn't have 4 loaf pans. In fact I have 3 loaf pans that don't even match. All turned out perfect. I put the remaining batter in 12 muffin cups. And those turned out perfectly too. [I baked them all at the same time and pulled the muffins out about 8 minutes before the loaf pans.] They make incredible toast. I put homemade mango raspberry jam on top and man oh man it is GOOD.

The crannies my friends. The crannies. [Those blessed little air pockets that hug the butter & jam...oh boy.]

And there are 2 more loaves in my freezer.

I can hardly handle it. We'll be making this a hundred times over.

How Real Men Make Dinner

I promise it is not my goal to make you all have a huge crush on Cameron. However, I can completely understand if that's what happens after this post. Husband of the year.

Overnight Oats & a "Delurk"

I have had the following conversation probably three dozen times.

Me: [Random story/fact about the boys/etc.]

You [or your husband]: "Oh yeah! I [my wife] totally read that on your blog. Is that creepy?"

Me: "Not creepy at all. That's why I write it!"

Ok. This is me calling you out. You are not creepy. You are, however, awkward. Say hello! I am calling for a delurk today. If you've never commented, or you comment on every post, or somewhere in between leave a comment! Either on this post or another one of your liking. It doesn't even have to have anything to do with the post. I just want to get to know YOU. Introduce yourself!

I'll even throw in a "nice to meet you!" picture of the boys.

How can you say no to faces like that?

--------------------------------------------------

As for the Overnight Oats. Are you excited? You should be. These have the power to change your life. To start with, I have a love for oats that I didn't know existed until I was pregnant with the boys. I had this master list of things I wanted to make to have on hand so I ate well and could build and keep a good milk supply. It just turns out that oats were in almost every single one. Granola, smoothies, breakfast cookies, etc. Then, we moved to Arizona. And my milk supply was all but gone. I called the NICU to see if I could get it back and the nurse just asked me how often I eat oats.

I had pinned a recipe for overnight oats on pinterest a while ago that I kept meaning to try, but it called for "chia seeds" and I had never seen them anywhere but on Amazon. I didn't want to buy a whole pound just in case I didn't like it. [Now, guess where my swagbucks gift cards are going to go?] I found chia seeds down here at Sprouts in their bulk section and grabbed a scoop for a couple bucks. And I've had overnight oats every day since.

They are magic.

They fill me up all morning. They're full of protein. I get fruit and calcium and fiber in my diet from the get go. They are YUMMY and I'm a night owl, so making myself a balanced breakfast in the morning [even just adding fruit to my bowl of cereal] just doesn't happen. However, making a balanced breakfast the night before? I can, and do, do that.

[Happy to say my milk supply has never been better.]

I've since modified the recipe a bit, because I'm one of the weird ones that doesn't like greek yogurt. Also, eventually [when I'm not living at my in-laws house], I plan to make a big batch of my own yogurt to use, and I don't intend to greek strain it. And the recipe made about half of what I needed to eat for breakfast, so I started by doubling the amount of oats it called for. I make mine in ziploc tupperware containers. They're not a part of the cutesy mason jar trend, but they do the job just fine. And fit a lot more of everything.

So without further ado, here's my favorite breakfast secret!

Overnight Oats

• 1/2 c. old-fashioned oats


• 1/3 c. milk [I use 1%]


• 1/2 c. yogurt [I have used vanilla and strawberry so far. Must say, I prefer vanilla.]


• 1 Tablespoon chia seeds <--don't skimp on these. They're my favorite part! [And they soak up the liquid and make it the right consistency.]


• Fruit or other mix-ins

Put everything but your mix-ins in a container. Stir well. Mix-in your mix-ins. Let it sit in the fridge overnight. Enjoy in the morning!

I've tried applesauce and cinnamon, mango, fresh strawberries, fresh blueberries, a tablespoon of cocoa and half a banana, a tablespoon of peanut butter and half a banana, and strawberry yogurt [instead of vanilla] with half a banana. Must say, the only one I didn't like was the peanut butter combo. And if you make one with banana, be sure to eat it within 2 days. [I generally make 4 of these at a time and let them sit in the fridge. I eat the banana ones first because I have a weird thing about banana...the blueberry one lasted a good 4 days and tasted divine!]

So there you have it. Have you tried these before? Favorite mix ins? I want to hear about it!

Full Circle

A while ago, I posted this. And so many of you showed your support by sending in a square of fabric and a sweet note to our little family, before our boys were even on the radar. The notes were very well timed.

My mom and I laid out the quilt top while I was on bedrest during our IVF cycle.

My sister finished the quilt just in time for my baby shower.



The quilt hung in our hospital room when our boys were admitted to the NICU.

And now, the quilt is doing what it was always intended to do. Wrap up my sweet boys and cuddle them close.

So thank you for all of your support. All the prayers, notes, meals, tears, kindness we've received over the past few years means so much to us.

Here's to answered prayers.

 

Well Hello Sweet Boys!

What an incredible few days. I can't believe how crazy everything was from my last update on...so really I'll just pick up where that left off.



Thursday began the 24 hour urine collection. (Count yourselves lucky if you've never had to do that...I felt like a toddler in potty training). I was actually really frustrated because I had to spend all day Thursday in the hospital and they only monitored the boys for 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes in the evening. The boys had great heart rates and took contractions perfectly. They were PERFECT so why was I still here? Every time I saw the doctor, the only information we got was "I'll come back to check on you in 4/6/2 hours." So annoying. There was very little communication. I am quite capable of keeping my feet up at home, thank you very much. The nurses came in to check my blood pressure a ton and it was always within normal range. So I called my friend Julie, who is a labor and delivery nurse in Arizona. She explained to me that if I were her patient, I would be sitting exactly where I was and that you don't mess around with toxemia. She was grateful I had a good doctor who understood the risks. And she finally helped me understand that the Dr. was worried about ME, not my boys.

Thursday night, I didn't get a minute of sleep. Every time I started to doze off, a nurse or lab tech or housekeeping person would come in and poke and prod me. Then, if I ever went to the bathroom (which happens every 40 minutes or so...) I had to call the nurse and wait for them to add it to the collection to be tested in the morning. The collection ended about 1:30 am. Test results were expected to be back within a couple hours. At 6:30 in the morning, my nurse walked in. She had the most even-toned voice ever and said without any sense of urgency: "We got the results back from your urine collection. Normal protein levels are in the 150s. Your levels are well over 2 thousand, so a labor and delivery nurse will come down to get you and we're going to induce you this morning." And then she walked out.

Since we'd always had 2/4/6 hours in between being told something and it actually happening, Cam crawled into the bed with me and we cuddled and fell back asleep. 10 minutes later the labor and delivery nurse arrived, flipped on the lights and asked if we were ready to go. Cam jumped up and packed up most of our stuff. I got in the wheelchair and upstairs we went. I was hooked up to an entire tree of IVs by 7:15. I had a bag of regular fluids, a bag of pitocin to start the induction, a bag of magnesium sulfate to reduce my stroke threshold due to the toxemia, and a bag of zofran to help with the nausea caused by the magnesium sulfate.



Things went slowly for quite a while. Apparently, magnesium sulfate is also used to stop preterm labor, so it counteracts the pitocin, which meant I was over the max dose of pitocin in about 2 hours and my contractions still weren't regular or very effective. The dr. came in to break my water at around 1:30 hoping that would help move things along. It did, but barely. The dr. had told me that because of my toxemia, I had to have an epidural no matter what because we couldn't risk me being in enough pain to spike my blood pressure and send me into shock/seizure/stroke. I got the epidural at around 4 pm, when they checked me I was at a 4...barely.



From then on out, things really picked up. I took a nap until I was 6 cms. The dr. came in and said that he was going to take his wife out to dinner at a chinese place down the street, but would be back to check me soon. He came back, I was an 8. And my epidural wore off. Not fun. Because we really couldn't have me at risk for a blood pressure increase, the anesthesiologist had to re-dose my epidural 4 times before things got under control. So...many....drugs! About 20 minutes after my Dr. announced that I was at an 8, I turned to Cam and said "Nash just dropped. I want to push." And Cam called the nurse. Sure enough, I was a 10 and completely effaced. I pushed through about 4 contractions, the nurse announced she could see the head and off we went to the operating room. I was on a serious adrenaline rush by this point.

Suddenly, there were people everywhere. Teams of nurses flooded the room, my dr. and another OB from his office were right next to me. Cameron was suited up in a white jumpsuit, the ultrasound machine was to my left. I caught sight of two bassinets and things became far more real.



After pushing through the next contraction, the nurse told Cameron to look because you could see the head. I asked him how far away the head was and he said it was right there. One more contraction and I got through all 3 pushes, the nurse said I was still contracting and could push a fourth time if I wanted to. I said lets go for it and the entire team bore down with me. Nash was here! The doctor turned him to face me. Oh he was beautiful! I watched Cameron cut the umbilical cord and a team of nurses took my little boy to run a few tests to make sure he didn't need any immediate attention.



My focus immediately switched to Gray.

It was a little weird at this point, because my uterus was half empty. There was so much room in there and Gray hadn't dropped yet. I was contracting but I couldn't feel a thing because my uterus wasn't pushing against anything. A few minutes later, Gray dropped and I was good to go. The dr. broke my water again. Two contractions later, my little Gray was here! He came out with his fist above his head and the Dr. had to turn him between the two contractions. That was probably the most painful part of the entire labor. Cameron cut his cord and a team of nurses took him to check his vitals.

Around this time, one of the nurses brought my little Nash back to let me hold. Meanwhile, I delivered the placentas and started losing a lot of blood. My adrenaline was dropping. I handed Nash off to Cameron and assured Cameron that I was only closing my eyes because I was tired, and that he shouldn't worry. There was plenty of reason to worry. Because of the conflicting medications and the extremely high dose of pitocin I was on to get labor going, my body didn't react to the dose of pitocin I was given to shrink my uterus down and stop the bleeding. The next thing I knew I was flat on my back with an oxygen mask over my face and really fighting to stay awake.



The nurse got me some juice and tried to prop me up in the bed, but I was far from ok. I got stitched up and they pumped up the fluids in my IV. Once I was stable, they wheeled me around to the elevator and took me downstairs to the nursery so I could see my beautiful boys. I wasn't able to sit up so they wheeled my entire bed around the nursery. I touched Gray for the first time and said hello to Nash again. And then I went back to my recovery room for the night.



Things weren't good. I had to stay on the magnesium sulfate for 24 hours to watch my blood pressure. Nurses came in over and over again to check my fluids, blood pressure, reflexes, and other vitals. I didn't get a bit of sleep, but I was so tired. The magnesium sulfate apparently does that to you, exhausts you but keeps you from sleeping deeply. The next morning, the nurses brought my boys in to see me. They were healthy and pink and perfect. I still didn't feel very good, but a few hours of being with the boys lifted my spirits so much. We enjoyed our first Saturday morning together (amid more vitals checks and blood draws).



I still wasn't improving, though, so breastfeeding was not an option. It broke my heart. Saturday night I had a 6-hour blood transfusion and got off the magnesium sulfate. Things are much better now. Like all newborn babies, they dropped a portion of their body weight over the first day. Because they don't have a great deal of weight available to lose, they're in the NICU right now to get extra help with feeding. Scary as it was to get the news that they needed to be transferred there, it really is a great situation. They have no other issues and I know my babies are getting enough to eat now. Also, it's more of a breastfeeding bootcamp for me. I get 1 on 1 help from the best lactation specialists and nurses at every feeding and they're working with me to overcome the effects of the magnesium sulfate from the first 24 hours of my babies' little lives. We've already made tons of progress and I am so thrilled.

I truly can't believe they're here and that they are ours! I feel like the luckiest girl in the world, and while things didn't go exactly as I dreamed they would, I couldn't be happier. We are all here. We are all healthy. We are all happy.

How Sweet It Is

I think it's time.

I'm not really feeling fat. I'm not really feeling cranky.

I'm just becoming more and more aware of the effects my eating habits have on my body, my mood, and (for the next 2 months + however long I breastfeed) my boys.

I've been playing around with the idea of doing this again. It's kind of pointless to only do it for a year, though. I've already proven to myself that no treats for a year is very possible. Last time, I learned that my body absolutely loves when I don't eat treats. I sleep better, I have clearer skin, I freak out at Cam less often. Wins all around.

I told a friend of mine that I was going to do it again as soon as the boys were born, because I'm having a hard enough time keeping up with calories, so I just need to keep eating everything right now, but really? That's lame. These boys don't need empty calories and high fructose corn syrup. They need real, good, food.

So, I'm starting now.

No more cakes, cookies, brownies, soda, candy, etc.

And it's not just for a year. It's for good. To make the lifestyle change realistic though, I know I'll need "free days" to pick ONE treat. To avoid me justifying extra "free days" (like, HEY! Today is National Sock Day. Let's celebrate!) I've made a list. Every year, I can pick ONE treat on the following days:

1. January 2nd - Our Anniversary


2. Valentine's Day


3. The Boys' Birthday


4. Easter Sunday


5. 4th of July


6. My Birthday


7. Cam's Birthday


8. The Last Day of School (this will eventually be in June, once our boys are in school. For now, it is to celebrate the end of the chiropractic school trimesters that end in May and September.)


9. Halloween


10. Thanksgiving


11. Christmas Eve/Day


12. New Year's Eve

This gives me roughly 1 treat a month. Do I HAVE to eat a treat? no. I can totally see myself not wanting one after I get going. But I also love celebrating holidays, and to me celebration almost always involves food.

Going off treats the first time made me realize just how much access to junk I have. Multiple times per week there are just plates of brownies and cookies and everything else for the taking. Church activities are the worst for this. Making the decision that I wouldn't have any before hand made it so easy to avoid it in the moment. And I loved it. It hasn't even been a year, but I miss it. (I'm sure that sounds strange to some of you, but don't knock it 'til you try it!) I also think that by having this list made, it will make me really think about what I want to indulge in that day.

Like the day the boys are born? You better believe I'm having an irish cream cocoa bean from the cafe where my sister works. And I really look forward to it!

Also, if I really REALLY just can't handle the no sweets situation, anything from here is on the good list.

And if any of you are ready to join me, I welcome you with open arms. I feel like this is a very happy medium for me, but maybe with some tweaks (or not) it will fit for you too. I can't wait for the benefits to start kicking in again!

Bring on the deep sleep, non-crazy dreams, patience, and clear skin!

 

My Mother's Day

About 3 years ago, I fell in love with a boy. His name is Cameron. For those of you who don't know, this boy's real name is perfection. See?

Because we don't really have control over when our little family will grow, Mother's Day is always kind of difficult for me. I don't look forward to it. I go to church and hear things like, "God trusted me enough to give me one of his children." And I sit in the pew and wrestle with myself and bite my tongue (literally) to keep tears from spilling down my cheeks.

But this year? Cam refused to let that happen. He woke up early and turned off all the alarms, so I wouldn't wake up. (Normally, I hear between 3 and  5 alarms every morning depending on the day. It is one of my biggest pet peeves.) I woke up to the sweet smell of fresh oranges and cinnamon vanilla french toast. yum.

I came downstairs and on my plate was a card and 2 presents. I read the card first. Cam always knows just what to say. He is my best friend. He is my rock. And he was preparing me for the inevitable battle that was going to happen at church today. He was helping me put my armor on.

I opened the first present:

(I understand this may look or sound disgusting to many of you. I completely get that. I told my mom what Cam got me for Mother's Day and she responded with, "uh. gross..." Trust me, I realize it sounds nasty BUT don't you dare knock it til you try it!) On my bad days, I go take a hot shower or bath and I save this Salty Caramel Ice Cream body wash for those days. It turns your shower experience into a buffet of sweet smelling happiness. It. Rocks. I first bought it as part of a giftset I found on extreme sale at Bath & Body Works when I worked there my sophomore year of college (almost 4 years ago). In the giftset was Cookie Dough lipgloss <--best color/flavor combo ever. I bought the set for the lipgloss and avoided the body wash because it sounded gross. And then one day I used it and good heavens it is amazing. Bath and Body Works doesn't sell the temptations line anymore. (sad.) And even if they did, this fragrance has been discontinued since I bought it (remember, it was on extreme sale) so Cam snagged the last 2 bottles of this in existence as far as we can tell. I mentioned to him one time that I was bummed that my stash was getting low. ONE TIME. He is stellar.

The second present had some familiar packaging, so I knew to be excited. It was from here. I love everything they make. EVERYTHING. My sweet mother in law bought me a necklace from them for Christmas last year and I kid you not, the empowerment that can come from a piece of jewelry is shocking. I wear that necklace more often than not. It never makes it onto my jewelry tree. I wear it, take it off and put it on my nightstand before bed, wake up and put it back on. I love it. Point of that story was I love their shop so I was excited to see what was inside.

Cam got me this:

And I cried. He is amazing. Consider me armed. :)

I asked him what I should wear for church, and he requested my favorite black dress. The dress is cute, but it needs a little something around the middle (especially because I wanted to wear my new pink shoes). I didn't have any pink ribbon or anything and Cam offered me his pink tie. A few safety pins later and this is what I came up with. (Thanks babe for letting me put a pin or two through your tie!)

And off we went to church. I couldn't believe my ears when the speakers started their talks. Each and every one was on how incredible WOMEN are, not MOTHERS. Sure, mothers were talked about. They were praised, etc. But the main focus was on women in general. What a breath of fresh air! I couldn't have asked for anything more. One of the speakers even said, "There are some women who are unable to bear children at this time. I believe we can learn so much from their grace through trials." I don't lump myself into the graceful category, but it was so wonderful to be acknowledged on Mother's Day of all days! Then, and only then, did I cry. I cried tears of gratitude and joy and faith because to me, that was my Heavenly Father protecting me on a day when my heart was so vulnerable. He knew I was there. He knew what I needed. And he inspired this sweet woman to deliver the message. Throughout the rest of the meeting phrases like, "Women's willingness to sacrifice to build up the family" and "Gentle diligence, faith, and optimism" were used frequently. For the first time on Mother's Day, I felt included. I felt like I actually belonged there. Not a single time was an insensitive word said.

(*Note: please don't take this the wrong way. I believe mothers deserve all the praise in the world. They do the greatest work here on Earth. I personally have one of the most incredible mothers. My selfish heart, though, on Mother's Day can't help but cry "What about me?" To all of you mothers, I am grateful for the love you show your children, your ability to sacrifice for them, how beautifully you carry your load and responsibility of raising the next generation. And thank you for allowing me to be a part of your children's lives. It means everything to me.)

We went to the marriage and family class for Sunday School. I psyched up for a mother's based lesson in Relief Society, but it never came. We had a wonderful discussion on missionary work. I went home with my hand in the crook of Cam's arm and a huge smile on my face. Church couldn't have been better.

Cam made roast, asparagus, and sweet potatoes for dinner.

We watched Harry Potter and cuddled on the living room floor for hours and hours, and kind of fell off the face of the planet for the afternoon.

I hope that whether your children are in your arms or in your heart, you had a wonderful Mother's Day yesterday. I hope that for a moment, your heart was safe.