Windows

Last night was delicious. C surprised me at the car after work. He was supposed to be in Salt Lake in economics class. Apparently traffic was terrible on the way up and they weren't going to make it on time. He was leaning up against the car just waiting for me to walk outside. It was as warm as it's been in months and I got a taste of springtime. Unexpectedly seeing C makes my heart freak out. I hope it stays that way for a very long time.

He gave me a kiss that probably embarrassed the people around us, opened my door for me, and drove me home.

I made barbecue chicken salad with pineapple, chow mein noodles, corn, and bell peppers. C had rootbeer and I had water, in goblets from our wedding. While I made dinner (in my slacks and pumps from work), C played me love songs on the piano. Right when dinner was ready and I was just pulling some biscuits out of the oven, C came up behind me and hugged me, smelled my hair, and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

There are times when I am worried about bringing a child into our home. The world is such a scary and dark place. There is evil all around us. And then, nights like this remind me, there is so much good and love and beauty, too.

Life is crazy. There are fights. There are too many things to get done and never enough time to do it all.

And so, I wondered, while I was making dinner, if someone looking through our window would see the laundry basket full of clothes sitting on the table, the smudges on the window itself, the wife cooking alone, the husband playing the piano, the wife's clothes getting flour on them because she's not wearing an apron, the disaster in the next room, the vast array of imperfection so easy to point out. Or I wonder if that same person would see a man and a woman so absolutely enamored with each other that service comes easy. That the daily chores will get done, probably together, and that sometimes a quick meal and a long kiss balance each other out. That love is silly and fun. That a meal at home can be just as romantic, even without candles or music or chocolate-dipped strawberries.

And then I started thinking about the other "windows" I've looked in. How often have I judged others, including C, without knowing the whole story? What could look like one thing is probably something else. And the something else is probably so much better than our first thought.

And then I sat down to dinner with my gorgeous man and we held hands under the table. And we prayed. And my heart overflowed with love for a man who knows what I know. And a Heavenly Father who thought I was good enough to be blessed with such a husband.

I write this today, because the bad days are sure to come. Hopefully, on one of those bad days, I'll be able to read this and realize just how good I've got it, and how good the world really is.

Even if it doesn't seem like it on first glance.