Week 16 Update

How far along? 16 Weeks exactly
Total weight gain/loss: +12.5
Maternity clothes? YES. My sweet mom bought knit fabric to make me stretchy black pants (that are long enough) and a grey maxi skirt (that is also long enough). The thought of those stretchy waistbands makes my heart go pitter-pat.
Best moment this week: After a completely terrible flight Monday morning, the cabin de-pressurized and I felt the biggest kick! It’s the first time I have had no doubt it was one of the babies. I was beaming from there on out. Because of the timing (with the cabin de-pressurizing and such) I doubt it will be consistent for a few more weeks, but it was super cool!
Movement: See above :)
Waist Diameter: [I'm forcing myself to bite the bullet and actually do this one this week.]
Food cravings: I wanted Nacho Cheese from Taco Bell yesterday. Bad. I believe Cameron was trying to convince me that we needed to pre-order Harry Potter 7 part 2 on BluRay yesterday and I told him that if he took me to Taco Bell he could order the movie. (what a deal for him, eh?!)
Gender: Probably won’t find out until week 20.
Labor Signs: None, thank heavens. :)
Belly Button in or out? Totally still in, but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time!
What I miss: Liking the way Cam smells. lol. Poor guy. If the tiniest bit of cologne is on his person, I will smell it and I won’t even be able to handle sitting next to him, let alone having his arm around me. Cam really likes smelling nice, so we’re both anxious for that particular stage to be over.
What I am looking forward to: Seeing all the family this weekend at Kiara’s wedding! It’ll be so fun. Also, Cam has his A-game on to make the drive not so miserable. Love him.
Milestones: Someone asked me when I was due flat out. Yay for not just looking fat anymore! Also, I threw up in the morning for the very first time yesterday. I’ve always just been sick at night. I must say, I’ve always wondered why it was called “morning sickness”. Now I know. I should also say, I very much prefer evening sickness. ALSO, I am less than 9 weeks away from my very last day at work. Single digits baby!
Realization of the week: I will probably be hungry until further notice. It doesn’t matter if I’ve eaten in the past 5 minutes or not, because if I eat one bite too many it’ll all come right back up the chute. A lot of what I thought was important for these babes is quickly falling away. I don’t need a designer nursery. I don’t need a closet full of cute clothes. I don’t need the entire toy section in my living room. I am quite content with a pack-and-play until the babes are too big to share a crib. I need them healthy and safe and in my arms. The rest is just a bonus.

Bigger in Texas

We went to Texas a couple weekends ago to look for housing for when we go off to Chiropractic school next summer. (We bought the tickets long before IVF was even on our radar and were planning to start school in January...clearly the plan has changed.) BUT, we had the plane tickets and weren't about to spend an extra $400 to reschedule the flights, so off to Dallas we went.

After a nice little delay that put us back about an hour and a half, we arrived in Dallas and took the shuttle to the car rental place. I stayed with our bags while Cam waited in line. I often joke about how Cam is an advertiser's dream. He sees an ad and immediately thinks "YES! We should buy that!" Luckily, I graduated in advertising, so he is an advertiser's dream in way more than one way. However, mixing Cam with salesmen is never a good idea. 40 minutes later I'm still waiting for him to pick up our already-paid-for-and-picked-out car. My texts went from "Hey, I'm totally checking out your butt right now." to "What is going on?" to "Honey, have you asked her to marry you yet? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT OVER THERE?! Let's go!" Apparently, he was being schmoozed. Before he had realized what was going on, the saleslady had upgraded us to a mid-sized SUV for "only" $140 more. Once that got straightened out, he got our original car choice, got the keys, and away we went. I put my foot down about renting a GPS from the car rental place and texted a friend to look up directions for me to the nearest WalMart, so we could just buy a GPS for $30 more than the rental would cost. We drove around the airport (and in and out of the parking pay stalls) 3 times before finally figuring out how to get out of there. Luckily, I was still laughing at this point. We made it to WalMart and made a decision on which GPS we wanted. Us naive Utahns tried to walk out of the electronics department with it. Apparently that's a no-no. The clerk held it at the electronics desk until we came back with the toothbrushes we also needed. Finally, we got back to the car. My job was to open, set-up, and program the GPS to get us to this cute girl's house.

Us naive Utahns did not account for the "YOU WILL NOT STEAL THIS" packaging the GPS came in. While I hacked away at the industrial strength plastic with a spare key, Cam chose a random freeway and headed out. (Impatience at its finest). I was getting nowhere fast, so Cam exited and pulled into a parking lot to try and save the day.

And then police lights and a spotlight were upon us. Literally, less than 1 minute later.

We had parked in a handicap stall.

Cops in Dallas are not near as nice as the ones in Utah.

After taking Cam's license for scrutiny and listening to us stumble over our story, the cop assured us that he did not, in fact, have a pair of scissors or a knife that would help us open our GPS system and giving us a warning, we set off to find a gas station that might be able to help us open the packaging.

We stopped at the nearest gas station and nearly turned into another handicapped stall, but this time we knew better. We went around the corner, parked (legally), and Cam went inside to open the GPS while I sat in the locked car and tried to avoid looking at all the interesting people in the parking lot. Cam returned triumphant (after a significant delay) which was due to the person in front of him wanting to know exactly how many cigarettes were in a particular carton. The clerk didn't know, so he opened the carton and counted each individual one. However, the brainiac had scissors. Cam returned to the car with the GPS system WITHOUT its #%$#( casing held high over his head.

I set it up, input the address, installed the windshield mount and we were on our way. But the happy little voice the declares the directions was nowhere to be heard. After reassuring Cam that I had already turned the volume up to full blast (3 times), we figured out that we had a faulty GPS. So we tried our best to read the map, made a few U-turns and finally made it to our beds a little after midnight.

Cam slept really well, though. lol. And the Dallas humidity greeted him with gusto the next morning. He had the best bed-head I've ever seen. I truly wish I could've gotten a 360 degree shot.

We spent the next 3 days visiting the school, talking to other students, finding a nice neighborhood to live in and touring apartment complex after apartment complex. We also dove right in to Texas culture and enjoyed some GREAT tex-mex, our first Texas High School Football game, and ate at Buffalo Wild Wings (twice).

Everyone in Texas is SO NICE. We walked up to the football stadium (which is unlike anything I've ever seen) got in line to buy tickets, and someone just handed us 2 for free. Did you know they have assigned seating at the HS football games? Well they do, and the tickets were for the first row!

Cam bought me a pickle and a pretzel at the concession stand (after we made it past all the tailgaters). And because the pretzel was only warm and not hot, they gave it to me for free. We took our seats and listened to all the parents of the players behind us. Mostly, we came to the conclusion that our high schools were, in fact, lame. They had inflatable tunnels in the shape of the mascots heads for the teams to run out of and dance line/cheerleaders (HUNDREDS OF THEM) lined the field. It blew the socks off most college games I've been to. No joke.

Oh yeah. And the marching band had 650 members in it.

Our new brother-in-law was in the band in high school. We razzed him about it a bit when we found out. He's from Dallas. We also came to the conclusion that we owe him an apology. There is nothing lame about band in Texas. Nothing.

We got home Monday around lunchtime and Cam took me to Taco Bell to get some nacho cheese sauce that I just had to have. Lucky man. He's been waiting for me to crave taco bell since we got married.

Week 15 Update -- HellOoo Down There!

This is all going by really fast. I feel like since we shared our little video about a month ago, the weeks are just flying by. I sure hope I still feel this way when I'm 30 weeks along and trying to convince myself that I really do want these babes to grow for another 6-8 weeks.



How far along? 15 Weeks exactly
Total weight gain/loss: +13
Maternity clothes? Found a skirt for Kiara's wedding that has the most blissful waistband ever. I wore it all day Sunday even while driving across the greater Dallas area. Cam asked if I'd like to change before going and I mentioned to him that this skirt is better than any pair of jeans I own. Fantastic. Also, the weather cooled down enough for me to wear my sweaters! I have a few nice long sweaters that don't cling to me and don't require a shirt underneath to make modest. win-win-win.
Best moment this week: After a completely terrible flight Monday morning, the cabin de-pressurized and I felt the biggest kick! It's the first time I have had no doubt it was one of the babies. I was beaming from there on out. Because of the timing (with the cabin de-pressurizing and such) I doubt it will be consistent for a few more weeks, but it was super cool!
Movement: See above :)
Waist Diameter: [I'm forcing myself to bite the bullet and actually do this one this week.]
Food cravings: I wanted Nacho Cheese from Taco Bell yesterday. Bad. I believe Cameron was trying to convince me that we needed to pre-order Harry Potter 7 part 2 on BluRay yesterday and I told him that if he took me to Taco Bell he could order the movie. (what a deal for him, eh?!)
Gender: Probably won’t find out until week 20.
Labor Signs: None, thank heavens. :)
Belly Button in or out? Totally still in, but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time!
What I miss: Liking the way Cam smells. lol. Poor guy. If the tiniest bit of cologne is on his person, I will smell it and I won't even be able to handle sitting next to him, let alone having his arm around me. Cam really likes smelling nice, so we're both anxious for that particular stage to be over.
What I am looking forward to: Seeing all the family this weekend at Kiara's wedding! It'll be so fun. Also, Cam has his A-game on to make the drive not so miserable. Love him.
Milestones: Someone asked me when I was due flat out. Yay for not just looking fat anymore! Also, I threw up in the morning for the very first time yesterday. I've always just been sick at night. I must say, I've always wondered why it was called "morning sickness". Now I know. I should also say, I very much prefer evening sickness. ALSO, I am less than 9 weeks away from my very last day at work. Single digits baby!
Realization of the week: I will probably be hungry until further notice. It doesn't matter if I've eaten in the past 5 minutes or not, because if I eat one bite too many it'll all come right back up the chute. A lot of what I thought was important for these babes is quickly falling away. I don't need a designer nursery. I don't need a closet full of cute clothes. I don't need the entire toy section in my living room. I am quite content with a pack-and-play until the babes are too big to share a crib. I need them healthy and safe and in my arms. The rest is just a bonus.

14 Week Update

Coming to you LIVE from Dallas! (We're house hunting for when the babes come.) And it's been one heck of a trip...and we've only been here 24 hours. lol. The blog post about this trip is going to be hilarious. Stay tuned.

How far along? 14 Weeks, 2 days.
Total weight gain/loss: I'm not good at stepping on a scale. It freaks me out. I'm trying not to stress about gaining enough weight or gaining too much.
Maternity clothes? Maternity pants still win every morning. I tried wearing a pair of my regular pants on Tuesday and I've never felt so sick in my life. Seriously, fetal position on the floor sick. SO, we'll be going for stretchy waistbands from here on out.
Best moment this week: The e-mails from thebump.com. The babes are the size of lemons :) I love that. They used to be poppyseeds. *sigh* they grow up so fast. Also, proper communication resulted in Cam lowering the intensity of his back rubs a bit.
Movement: A little bit? I think the babes like Mexican food. We ate Mexican tonight and the spicy-ness made things all sorts of exciting. I'm afraid to label it as "I FELT THE BABIES!" because, as a first time mom, I'm not exactly sure what I'm feeling or what I'm supposed to be feeling.
Waist Diameter: Cam can still fit his arms around me. Although, I'm for sure showing. I think it's getting more normal to me, though. I feel like my belly disappears sometimes, but Cam assures me that it most definitely does not. So I must just be getting used to it.
Food cravings: Food. In general. Just FOOD. I feel like I've turned the corner from food aversions/cravings to if it is edible, and within arms reach it's going down the chute. I have 2 breakfasts every morning, about 90 minutes apart, a large lunch, snacks all afternoon, dinner, and water water water. It's fabulous. Although I can go from content to starvingohmygoshi'mshakingandgonnadie in a matter of seconds.
Gender: Probably won’t find out until week 20.
Labor Signs: None, thank heavens. :)
Belly Button in or out? Totally still in, but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time!
What I miss: Nothing. We’ve been looking forward to this for so long! (Although, I will say that I saw a commercial for Six Flags today and I do love the roller coasters.)
What I am looking forward to: Finding a home for our growing family! It's such a weird feeling to fly into a huge city and know that you'll be moving there within a year. But looking at apartments has taken on a whole new point-of-view. We see the second bedroom as a nursery instead of a guest room. I have a strange attraction to gated communities and care very much if the fence around the pool looks sturdy and has slats that a toddler couldn't fit through.
Milestones: Second Trimester Officially!! WOO!
Realization of the week: Cam is the hottest soon-to-be dad ever.

Mountains and Valleys

For the past few months, Cam and I have been pretty much on cloud 9. After 2.5 years of working and crying and praying and hoping and everything else that comes along with infertility, we are expecting! We've come to the top of the mountain. We did it!

I caught myself, during General Conference, listening to all the talks about trials and kind of blowing them off. I thought, "these don't apply to me. We conquered our trial."

And while, yes, I believe that our successes deserve to be celebrated and recognized, there is a whole lot wrong with this mentality.

It bothered me that talks I would have clung to during the past few years now got ignored or disregarded in my mind. And I tried to figure out what I was supposed to learn from this realization.

When we first got our diagnosis, my initial thought was "this isn't about me." It helped me stay away from the "poor me" that was so easy to slip into. This was about my babies, about my husband, about my family. Not to say that there wasn't a ton of dark days, crying in the shower, etc. But I gained an incredible understanding of eternal perspective and the power it holds. That perspective helped me keep from getting bitter, questioning God, and turning against Cam (for the most part.)

Basically, I was on my A-game spiritually.

And you will never hear me say I would trade infertility for anything. I learned more about myself, my Savior, my Heavenly Father, my marriage, my children in the past 2 years than I ever could have without it. And I am grateful for it.

The thing is, I really hope my trials aren't over. (And considering there are two little peaches in my belly, I'm pretty sure they aren't!) While everything when you're in the trenches seems horrible, I truly believe that during our time of want, our Heavenly Father had never been more aware of us.

Spiritually speaking, I have totally slacked since we got our wonderful news. It's been 3 months and I have barely cracked my scriptures open outside of our family study.

How terrible to say "thanks! We got what we wanted! We don't need you anymore!" That could never be further from the truth. I need a perspective shift, again. To realize that I need my Heavenly Father more than ever to guide me as I prepare for this responsibility. To realize that I need His help to get me back on my feet and get my head around being a stay-at-home wife and mother. To realize that I need His help in all aspects of my life, not just ones I pick and choose.

Bottom line is, the trials are far from over. I need to keep my guard up and continually be aware of the influence of Satan around me and my family. Luckily, I feel prepared to deal with just about anything so long as Cam is by my side. And he is. Always.

Those talks still apply to me. I think it's time to go back and really listen to them with an open heart and learn all that I can from the inspired counsel given to me.

Because there is a serious high when you reach the top of the mountain, and I can't believe that I will never get to feel that exhale, that triumph, that relief, that joy, that pride again.

I hope there are plenty of mountains in our future. And the time to prepare for them are when we're enjoying the beautiful valleys.

13 Week Update

Disclaimer: I have debated back and forth whether or not to write weekly updates. I have many infertile friends who deeply want to have children and the less news about pregnancy the better, in most situations. I had a really great talk with a friend this morning, though, and she made a few wonderful points. #1. This blog never was nor was it ever intended to be an infertility blog. It has always been our family blog with bits of infertility on it, just as infertility is only a part of our life. #2. As we are infertile, I don't know how many times I will get the opportunity to be pregnant. If the rest of our children come to our family through the miracle of adoption, I will want a good record of my experiences now, just as I will keep a good record of their adoption story in the future if we are blessed that way. #3. As soon as I found out we were expecting twins, I sought out every single weekly pregnancy update series of twin pregnancies I could find. I didn't care if they happened on their own or if they needed fertility treatments to get there. They were twin pregnancies and I was going to go through a similar experience...an experience I know absolutely nothing about. So, I'm thinking the pros outweigh the cons here. I'll be honest, during the tough times I blocked a few blogs from my reel. I completely understand if these aren't read or commented on or whatever. It's mostly for me and any twin mamas that happen to come by as intimidated by the blessings in their bellies as I am. When it comes down to it, this is our family. It has always been our family. And we are grateful for the two newest members of our family.

How far along? 13 Weeks, exactly.
Total weight gain/loss: as of this moment, +10. If we go by my pre-IVF weight, it's more like +12. But I was nice and round by the time IVF ended.
Maternity clothes? Maternity pants are magical. I still can, however, fit into one pair of my skinny jeans. I've bought a few things that were on sale and will be nice in the winter months, but they don't fit yet. The one pair of maternity pants I have bought, though, are the only part of getting dressed that doesn't stress me out :) Everything else looks so tight to me!
Best moment this week: Hearing the heartbeats on Friday and being treated like a normal pregnant woman at the OB instead of a pregnant woman we all have to walk on pins and needles around. Also, getting new pillows. I haven't slept that well in ages. It was the first time I've woken up ready to greet the day since we found out we were expecting!
Movement: None yet. My friend felt her baby move just yesterday and she is 2 weeks ahead of me, so hopefully it won't be long!
Waist Diameter: [coming soon]
Food cravings: Mostly veggies, sometimes fruit. No red meat (which resulted in mild anemia), even chicken makes me queasy. Just when I think the sickness is over, the puking starts again. I will say that I do feel extremely blessed with the sickness. I've only actually puked a handful of times, so I'll definitely count my blessings! I'm also just constantly thirsty.
Gender: Probably won't find out until week 20.
Labor Signs: None, thank heavens. :)
Belly Button in or out? Totally still in, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time!
What I miss: Nothing. We've been looking forward to this for so long!
What I am looking forward to: The Sing-Off. Maybe feeling the babes soon? And Cam promised me dessert at The Chocolate tonight.
Milestones: Went to a cousin's house last night and she squealed and said "You're showing!!" So apparently, it's getting more obvious I'm not just pudgy, but there are babies in there. :)
Realization of the week: The next time we watch General Conference, we will each have a baby in our arms. :)