4th of July!

Since we went and did Kaboom town the night before, we decided not to do fireworks again. Cameron had worked so hard to be able to take the entire day off with us, though, that we slept in together, got up and ready and spent the entire day as a red, white and blue family.

That morning was a ward breakfast at the park by our house. Cameron really wanted to go, but since we were all out and up so late the night before everyone slept through the alarm! We hustled to get ready and headed over to the park to catch the last bit of the food. We really have the best ward. The boys can run wild because there are kids and other friends happy to watch them and play with them. It makes it feel a little more like home.

After breakfast, we headed to do some shopping for a bbq later that night. I believe in holidays. I believe in making a fuss over them. And I believe in treats. So we bought a half gallon of chocolate milk to fill the boys' sippy cups with and matching blue ball caps. And we picked up the stuff to make homemade rootbeer and stuffed burgers. And then we all came home for a major nap.

I love that about having little kids. They remind you to slow down and take care of yourself. And oh that sleep felt great!

We invited our friends the Petersens to come swimming with us and have a bbq and watch Harry Potter with us. They had been at Kaboom town too and weren't up for fireworks again either. I am so grateful for good friends! We ended up going swimming at their pool and then meeting up again at our place for food. The root beer came out clear instead of brown (that's what we get for buying the cheap extract!) but tasted great! The boys went to bed early. And we watched Harry Potter and heard the faint booming of the city fireworks outside.

Sometimes the best memories come from getting rid of all the "supposed to's" and doing what makes your family happy. And sometimes that means sleep and british actors on Independence Day.

Kaboom Town

The city of Addison puts on a free fireworks show every July 3rd. We had plans to meet up with a few other Chiropractic families, but the 3rd is not a holiday, so we would be picking Cameron up from school and heading straight there. I was so proud of myself for getting the boys and I ready in patriotic outfits and out the door on time, with camping chairs and a cooler of food packed! 

We swung by the school to pick Cameron up and then hit in-n-out for dinner. We ordered the boys burgers of their own and just handed them to them to see how they would do. Granger ate right through it! Right down to the wrapper, lettuce, tomato, mayonnaise and all. Nash, on the other hand, pulled it apart and threw away everything but the patty. Big boys. 

It was a little hectic finding a place to park, especially because they limit the number of people that can go inside the park! We managed to score a spot in a free parking garage and met up with our group who had been saving us a spot for a couple hours. It was perfect! Lots of space for the boys to walk around and explore, Cam grabbed a corn dog, we had treats, good friends, and a great show! They started with live music and then airplanes started doing all these flips and tricks above us in the sky. It started to get dark and the planes did a few low arcs over the crowd and shot fireworks right off the plane! I've never seen anything like that before!

Granger made friends with the ladies next to us and flirted his way into some watermelon and a little american flag. Nash kept trying to steal the alcoholic beverages in the chairs nearby, but I don't think he actually consumed any. Ha. 

Nash was sitting on my lap when the fireworks started to go off. It started with a huge shower of sparks trailing across the sky from the plane engine. He would point at the plane and follow it across the sky "Wow wow wow!" 

I don't know what it is about the 4th of July. But I absolutely love it. I feel like there is so much history and legacy tied into its celebration and it makes me feel incredible to share that with my own children. Seeing the current state of our government, and our beloved country, I have never before been so grateful to see so many patriotic people all in one place. As the patriotic music came on, I got a little choked up, singing along to "Proud to be an American." I don't know what this land will be like when my children have children, and I think that's what scares me the most. 

But seeing the wonder on Nash and Granger's faces as sparks lit up the sky, I didn't have a fear in the world. 

After the fireworks show, we loaded up as quickly as possible and headed for our car. We got out of the garage faster than I expected, and then sat in traffic for much longer than I expected. It probably felt longer than it was because Nash was exhausted and inconsolable. We couldn't figure out what was wrong with him! I held a towel up to block his face from the bright brake lights of the cars ahead of us and that calmed him for a bit, but he just kept pulling his blanket back and forth across his lap and throwing it. He was so angry he would steal Gray's blanket and throw it just to make him miserable! I felt his legs and they were freezing. The air was on pretty high back there. I tucked his blanket tight around him and rubbed his legs while I just talked to him. "Oh my sweet Nash, cold toes are the worst. My mama used to rub my legs when I was a little girl to help me relax and fall asleep..." He nodded off almost immediately. It is a major confidence boost to watch my child fall asleep to the sound of my voice. That I don't even need to hold and cuddle him to calm him down. That just being near him is enough. That just hearing me is enough. 

And Cameron and I enjoyed the thick quiet air for the rest of the drive home and talked about the things I can only imagine my parents talked about while I listened to the muffled sounds of their voices and nodded off to sleep in the back of our van so many years ago. 

Phases

Everything is a phase. Gray is currently in a hair pulling and "give loves" phase. Nash is in an ear-splitting screeching and happy dance phase. And as the good comes with the bad, so will the good go with the bad. 

These little nuggets of boy-hood that I adore so much will eventually be outgrown. And so will the parts of boy-hood that drive me nuts. 

And I can't help but want to remember every single second of it all because it all passes so quickly. Where have the gummy smiles and wrinkly foreheads gone? I loved them. And I have never quite known this feeling before. Because I long to have them again, but I would not trade my grown up little boys for even a minute back in time. I would miss out on the newness, curiosity, story time, luh oo's, and tackle-hugs of the now. 

And that would be truly heartbreaking. 

So I will chin up and savor these phases. These moments. And avoid the hollowness of unfeeling that so often tries to creep in to the day-to-day. We are colorful. We are bright. And we are in love. And my sun rises and sets with my three men. 

I love being their lady. 

Busy at my feet

Before we had children, I would be making dinner or reading a book on the couch or doing some other everyday thing and wonder what it would be like to do that same thing when all was "busy at my feet." I wanted that chaos. 

Now, my boys are speed-walking halfway out-of-control everywhere. Hitting toys against the wall just to see if they make noise. Pulling pots and pans out of the cupboards. Chasing each other. Teaming up to chase the dog we're watching this weekend. Climbing stairs. Bringing pillows into the dining room just to flop on them. And laughing and laughing at everything. 

This is the best dang chaos I have ever experienced. 

Movie Night!

It's date night. Dad is at a seminar way over in grapevine, which means I have two very handsome young men to date tonight. And oh, we have a good time! Brownies, juice, popcorn and a late bedtime. Sounds perfect to me!

Rich

We don't have a lot of money. We are in school. We are young parents. And sometimes when we're trying to figure out what to make for lunches and dinner until the next month we get in fights about just "buying it anyway." Sometimes it stinks to not have any money at all.

And sometimes your husband picks up a great movie for free at the library and pops homemade kettle corn in your big soup pot. And then it starts pouring right as the credits are rolling and he asks you to sit on the front porch with him and watch the storm. And sometimes even while it's raining a few daring fireflies light up. And their light shines all over the wet grass and turns everything to gold.

Sometimes we are very, very rich without a penny in our pockets.

Love Lessons

Every now and again my eyes are opened wider and my heart realizes just exactly how I am changing as a wife and a mother, largely due to very specific experiences with my husband or one of my boys. 

Last night, Granger woke up at 3. He has been having a little trouble sleeping through the night so I didn't go in right away. After about 10 minutes I went to go check on him. He had thrown up all over himself and his bed. I got him cleaned up, Nash woke up too, and Cameron came to finish making the bed and help because Nash only wanted me, and Gray needed his daddy. 

Twenty minutes later, Granger started crying again. He had thrown up a little, so I took him out and got him some oils to calm his tummy and help him sleep deep. Before I put them on, though, I just cuddled him. I was sitting on the edge of my bed when I felt his little tummy contract again and I stood up in time to keep it from getting on the bed, but it went all down my back. His poor little body did this 3 or 4 more times, and his little cry after each one just made me pull him closer to offer any comfort I could possibly give. 

And I just didn't care about anything else. The early wake-up call, the mess, the lost sleep, the inconvenience. I cared about my hurting boy and how to keep him from hurting anymore. 

Sometimes I am grateful for how my heart reacts to certain things. Because in moments like these, all my insecurities about being a good enough mother are  pushed aside and replaced with the purest form of love I have ever known.