Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Oh Blessed Day!

We blessed the boys at home the night of Sunday the 27th of May. My family stayed at the house with us. We had a barbecue Saturday night and went to church together Sunday. I was asked to sing a special musical number in Relief Society and my mom played for me because she was in town. I love her. The lesson in Relief Society was on relying on Christ to get through your trials. It was based around the idea of having mountains to climb. It hit really close to home. I thought about my sweet miracles the entire time. And then I got up to sing the closing song. Normally when I sing I can distance myself from the content and get through the song without crying. Not this time. It was too close to my heart. I choked through the first verse, barely made it through the chorus had to stop and start over at the third verse and surely threw my mom for a loop because I barely sang the song that was on the page. It was embarrassing until I realized I was not the only one with tears running down my cheeks.

I finished and sat down and hugged Nash to my chest. [Gray was with Dad.] My heart was so full. I was grateful to have the mountain behind me [at least for now]. And I knew that Christ and my Heavenly Father were the reason I had these two beautiful miracle babies, and that I made it through that trial without becoming hard hearted. I could feel. And I did feel. And it felt good. How can anyone look at a sweet newborn babe and doubt the existence of our wonderful God? I will never understand that.

After church, we came home and ate a quick lunch, set up chairs and got my sweet boys ready for their blessing.

You know how you have this picture in your head of how things are "supposed" to be? I'm learning quickly that focusing on the "supposed" to be's are a quick way to get upset, because things are hardly ever how you picture them. Most of the time they're better, if you just look around and soak it all in. Well, I wanted this blessing day to go a certain way and it made me get all weepy like weeks in advance because I knew it wouldn't be that way. [read: in Utah]. And then I really wanted it to be during sacrament meeting at church. And we couldn't have it in church unless it was the first Sunday of the month. And then I was upset because we couldn't have it at our house. And then I was upset that all my Utah friends wouldn't be there. And then I was upset about not being able to serve watermelon. [See? totally irrational freak outs...and they were constant. Which is why my sweet husband reaches sainthood every. single. day.] And then my dad woke me up.

"Kristin, all that matters today is that your husband is going to bless these beautiful boys."

Cameron had told me that a hundred times. I'm not sure why it took my Dad saying it for me to buck up. But really, the day couldn't have been more perfect. And both of them were exactly right.

I got weepy again right before I got the boys dressed in their blessing outfits. I had pictured me getting some quiet time alone with my boys to doll them up and dote on them. The doorbell rang and people arrived early and my family and Cameron's family were all in the room. And I opened my eyes a little wider and watched everyone dote on my boys. Everyone wanted to love them, meet them, dress them, cuddle them. There was so much love in that room. And I was the mom. Love is a funny thing. I wanted to keep it to myself, but when I shared it, it totally exploded. And my mood completely changed.

I dressed Nash. My mom dressed Gray. They were wearing my brothers' blessing outfits. Gray in Rick's and Nash in JT's. I loved having that little bit of family tradition snuck in there. They were blessed in the same blessing blanket Cameron was blessed in. They looked perfect. Nash's little tuxedo pants just killed me and I couldn't get over Gray's poofy bum.

Cameron thanked everyone for coming to show their support and the Bishopric member who came, Brother Edwards, started the meeting. He said how grateful he was to be a part of this blessing because he has twin boys that are out serving missions right now. It hit me hard that this is the start of my boys' lives. They will grow up. I hope they go on missions. Even though it means my babies will be somewhere far far away from me. And this is where that all starts.

He asked the grandmothers to share their testimonies. Cameron's mom talked about the prayers it took to bring these miracle babies to our family. She talked about overcoming trials. She talked about relying on Christ. My mom spoke about making your home a sanctuary, a sacred place. She talked about how grateful she is for a good man who takes such great care of her daughter. She talked about the priesthood.

And then I was asked to share my testimony.

I started by saying what a good day it was for our family. I've learned a lot in the past couple years. I spoke about how Heavenly Father knows each one of us and knows the best way to teach us what we need to learn. I spoke of the healing and joy these sweet boys have brought to our lives. I spoke of the spiritual confirmation and personal revelation I received when I met Cameron. I knew I was his from day one. And when times got tough, it was vital to be able to fall back on that. That knowledge that our marriage was honored by God.

Cameron then took sweet little Nash and gave him a name and a blessing. His voice broke as he started the prayer. I married a humble, strong, God-fearing man. Cameron then handed me Nash, and I handed him Gray who was then blessed in the same way. Surrounded by the strong priesthood leaders in our family [and closest friends]. Neither of the boys made a peep.

My heart was so full. I can't describe the feeling I felt after the blessings. It was as if my boys were finally, really, truly mine. Oh I love them!

And then we ate brownies and lemon cake. And talked and took pictures and laughed. And I wore high heels and felt like a million bucks. And I cuddled and kissed my boys. And listened to everyone coo at them and comment on how strikingly handsome they are.

And I agreed.

"Hey Gray. Check it out. Total babe by the punch bowl."

"Hmm. She seems to be with someone." "Whatever dude. I prefer brunettes."


  1. I can't believe how big the boys are getting! They are growing up WAY too fast! Also, I love their little outfits! Baby boys deserve a little suit that's just as cute as girls' dresses.

  2. What fantastic pictures. I didn't know that they were blessed in the same outfits as JT and Rick. I love the blessing photos. What a sweet day!

  3. Oh, they are so cute! I'm so glad that it ended up going well! Congrats!

  4. Beautiful! Congratulations! Sometimes I also have a really hard time letting go of the picture I have in my head how things are supposed to go... It's hard to just take things as they come and enjoy them, but it sure it worth it to be less stressed out :D You guys are amazing!

  5. What a special day! Great blog K.

  6. They are too cute! And you look amazing. Good work! :o) Wish we could have been there!

  7. Why do your blog posts always make me cry, dang it!? Loved this - I'm glad you guys had such a great day. Those are some special little boys... And I hope they know how lucky they are to have you two as parents!

  8. Even though I don't have children (yet) I think i can be totally empathetic with you when you say you don't want to share. I can totally see myself doing that! When you were writing about opening your eyes and seeing everyone love and dote on them, I couldn't help but think of Mary the mother of Jesus, and how the scriptures say she kept all of these things and pondered them in her heart. I bet she felt the exact same way.

    I am SO happy for you and i LOVE reading your blog. You always know exactly how to say what I would totally feel, but have no talent to express.

  9. Beautiful! Just blessed our little girl last week (after my brothers sealing and before my oldests baptism).

  10. Love that we got to share this event with you and your sweet family! Lets please get together soon!?

  11. I did not leave a comment a few days ago, when you asked us to, but I am now, so there's that.
    This post got me teary-eyed. I loved blessing my boys, and this was a sweet reminder of that day, over a year ago.
    Not that long, but it seems like a lot sure has happened since then.

  12. I have been reading through your blog tonight. I saw it on Jenn Faucet's FB page- she is a friend of my friend, which is how I came across her blog. Anyway, I just have to tell you, first, that you are such a wise mother for a first time mom- I bet your mom was a great mom. You have confidence that I envy and I have been a mom for 17 and a half years and have 5 kids. I think you blogger mommies are so gutsy that I just wonder how the heck I survived being a mom some days. But then, I feel so old know that I forget the energy I had once upon a time!
    The other thing I want to say is that it has been so fun to read through some of your posts- particularly the one about your boys watching the trains from their high chairs because it reminds me of my boy who now kind of towers over me and is 15, and how he would wake up to the sound of lawn mowers in the summer time saying "maw-mower!" and had to get to the window to see them, and for a long time I thought he'd be a janitor because he liked brooms (later it was just sticks that were either a light saber or a blaster) It was so amazing to me that he just came that way, liking deep sounds and motors and cars for a time, but especially motorcycles. He is our only boy with 4 sisters- one older, three younger, so he didn't get to rough house as much as he probably would have liked because I had 3 brothers that teased so I didn't love rough housing, but good thing his dad was a good wrestler, even with our girls, so they could play and win :) It's just been fun to look through your blog and remember when my boy was little- I almost can't remember much because he was colicky and I was sleep deprived then his little sister came not even 15 months later so those few years were kind of a blur. How lucky you are to have blogs and digital pictures to capture so much! I can't imagine having two, but you seem like you are the perfect mom for twins- enjoying everything and taking it in stride!