Merry Christmas!

23 Week Update

How far along? 23 Weeks 2 Days
Maternity clothes? Yes. Although my pants are getting harder and harder to put on. I haven't figured out how to bend without knocking the air out of myself. When googling almost any pregnancy ailment, the first solution is generally "have the baby." However, ailments set on quicker in pregnancy when there are two babies and your body is expanding almost comically. "Have the babies" really isn't an option at this point, which I'm pretty grateful for actually, we're not ready for them to make their arrival just yet!
Best moment this week: Going to the temple last night. It has been a long, long time since we've gone because of one excuse or another. My thoughts when inside the temple always turn to "why don't we come here more often?"
Movement: Yes. They also wake each other up now, which made for a long week of no sleep. Dear boys, if it's a scare tactic, it's working. Point made. Love, Mom.
Waist Diameter:  39"
Food cravings: All of the above. They're all favorites. Although, I have developed a huge appreciation for Granny Smith Apples.
Labor Signs: Nope. Keep cookin’ boys!
Belly Button in or out? In. But in is a relative term. It hasn’t popped yet, but it is streeeetttched...Cam doesn't think it's as close as I do. How does this work? Does it just pop one day or is it always a gradual thing?
What I miss: Nothing really. Maybe emotional stability? I have cried and cried this past week, but I'm generally aware enough of the situation to realize I'm being ridiculous. Getting myself to stop crying is next to impossible, but at least I know I look silly!
What I am looking forward to: Celebrating being a stay-at-home wife & mommy-to-be. My last day of work is TOMORROW. :)
Milestones: Finished Babywise! (Thanks Em!) That book addressed all of my major concerns and gave me some great goals to shoot for. I am excited to see how it all works out. (Terrified is also appropriate to use here, but let's stick with excited.)
Realization of the week: I made stockings for our little family of 4 this week. Cam's says "dad". Mine says "mom". There are two other boy stockings, and their names are definitely on them, but their names are on Christmas cards that went out to parents, family members, mission presidents and most importantly the fertility clinic. :) So, once they receive the cards, we'll post the digital version on here for the friends and cousins that we couldn't afford to mail cards to this year.

22 Week Update

How far along? 22 Weeks 3 Days
Total weight gain/loss: +26.5 <– Not quite sure how I lost half a pound. Although, this time I did weigh myself in the morning.
Maternity clothes? Yes. Although Cam just informed me that we probably won't be buying any more because eventually even maternity clothes won't fit and I will just slob around all day in sweats. Doesn't sound too bad right now, actually. :)
Best moment this week: Cam shaved his beard!! It was a huge day at the Call house. I have been kissing him like crazy. Everyone is happy.
Movement: The boys are big and strong enough to push up against the sides of my belly now. I love being able to feel their little bodies.
Waist Diameter:  too lazy to find the tape measure. Big enough though. :)
Food cravings: Anything and everything. Although food is quickly falling from grace because no matter what I eat, I get reflux. ouch.
Labor Signs: Nope. Keep cookin' boys!
Belly Button in or out? In. But in is a relative term. It hasn't popped yet, but it is streeeetttched.
What I miss: The frequent doctors' appointments at our fertility specialist's office. Man, we were spoiled! This having to go a month between appointments and months between ultrasounds is really lame. Hopefully, we'll get an ultrasound at our appointment next week.
What I am looking forward to: Christmas Break!! My last day of work is one week from today. AND Cam got some sweet time off for the holiday and our anniversary. Merry Christmas!!
Milestones: Tonight when I sneezed, I peed a little. I've heard of this symptom, but had managed to avoid it until this week. It was oddly embarrassing and I didn't really know what to do. lol. There's nothing like relinquishing control over your body. It's a power struggle I don't stand a chance in.
Realization of the week: Eventually these babies will grow up and be teenagers, then adults. And it is our responsibility to raise them in righteousness. How do you raise righteous boys in the world we live in? We're starting with the nursery. The theme of which is "I'll go where you want me to go."

Also, Baby B has a thing for Mariah Carey. I hadn't felt him kick all day and Cam tuned the radio to the Christmas station while we drove up to Salt Lake. A few songs went by and then as soon as Mariah sang her first note, Baby B went wild. He kicked and kicked until the song was over and I didn't feel him again for the rest of the night. lol.

21 Week Update

How far along? 21 Weeks 1 Day
Total weight gain/loss: +27 <– It made me feel better that BOTH of our boys are bigger than average. They're already tall for their age.
Maternity clothes? We hit the black friday sales at Kohl's and nabbed 3 maternity tops. It is so nice to have stuff that actually fits!
Best moment this week: My chiropractic appointment. Oh my word YES. I would pay big money to be able to sleep on my stomach on that drop table.
Movement: Yes. :) Cam finally felt Baby A, who oddly enough is the runt of the two. He has been kicking a lot lately. I think he's happy to be noticed.
Waist Diameter:  38″ However, I have a couple shirts that hide it really well. I wore a black shirt the other day and if you saw me from the front, I look very much un-pregnant. A side-view is a very different story.
Food cravings: So, I mostly like hot food. I've been pounding chester's flamin' hot fries like they're going out of style and hurt my throat. Apparently flamin' hot snacks + pepper jack cheese isn't good in large quantities. Who knew? (It seriously felt like I had a draft in my throat, like there was a window open back there...weirdy)
Labor Signs: Mr. Braxton Hicks has made his debut. I know it's REALLY time to sit down and put my feet up when my whole belly gets hard. Makes things tricky when you're grocery shopping.
Belly Button in or out? In.
What I miss: Moving. ha. No, but really. Getting out of bed, getting out of the car, picking something up, bending...these will all quickly becomes things I did "way back when."
What I am looking forward to: Making stockings for our family of 4. I bought all the stuff. I just need to psyche up and cut them out. I can't wait to see them all in a row up our stairs.
Milestones: Stretch marks on my boobs. TMI?
Realization of the week: I can't do as much as I used to. Normally, when I'm in a rut, I make a master list of everything I want to get done, prioritize it, and get crankin'. This week, I tried that. And by 11 am I had hit a wall. I forced myself to get dinner in the crock pot and then watched The Biggest Loser until I fell asleep. I realized that nap and relaxation is just as productive as doing the dishes, cleaning, etc. It's taking care of my boys. And they need it.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

We've decorated for Christmas over here at the Call house. I love that Cameron leaves the tree lights on for me to wake up to every morning before he leaves for work. :) My favorite part of the tree is that every ornament has a story. My family has had the tradition of buying an ornament wherever we go on family vacations, and my grandmother painted an ornament for each of her grandkids every year. It makes my heart happy to see that there is a growing collection of ornaments from me and Cam's life together instead of a bunch of "kristin" ornaments. In the pictures, the first ornament is one we picked up on our trip to Disneyland last year. Then comes the "Oh Lola!" ornament. You can see the key from our first car, which was purple, tied to the top. We totaled it in a snowstorm last Christmas. The high heel is from my advertising internship. The snowflake is from BYU graduation. The I Love You ornament is from our first anniversary. Putting up the tree this year made me realize just how much of a life we've made together already. It also made me realize how much life is ahead of us. :) I love that.

Additionally, the silhouette has really made Christmas crafting fun. :) I used a bit of white vinyl to make the Oh Lola ornament (after using spray adhesive inside a cheap clear ornament and shaking purple glitter all over) and made the Merry Little Christmas sign from a piece of scrap wood from when we deconstructed the couch and some vinyl. I sure love being able to create anything I can imagine or re-create anything I've seen. :)

20 Week Update - Drumroll Please....!

Judging by the texts, wall posts, and phone calls, it seems like the news of these little babies is killing everyone! Thanks for being so excited! It makes this all the more fun. :)

We went to the doctor yesterday and had a wonderful ultrasound. Everything looks perfect on our little ones. We found out the genders and called Jessica to fill in our gender reveal cakes. A quick stop at home and we were on the way to Arizona for Thanksgiving. (Many apologies to those waiting to hear via Facebook, this is the first internet connection I've had!)

My family was on their way to Idaho for the holiday so we met near mile marker 25 to give them the cakes. My mom and dad started digging (near the headlights for light, of course...lol. I can't wait to see the pictures from all this.) and my dad (who had Baby A's cake) said:

I SEE BLUE!

That's right, Baby A is a boy!

My mom (who had Baby B's cake) said:

I SEE BLUE TOO!

There are two momma's boys headed to our house and we can't wait to meet them!

We got to repeat the entire process this morning with Cam's family. It never gets old.

Normally, when I wake up each morning, I say "hello babes" or something similar. This morning, I woke up and said "good morning, boys. :)

As for the ultrasound, it was incredible. I loved being able to see their little personalities so early on! I really wanted to see if Baby A was head down because I'd really like to deliver naturally if at all possible. Right off the bat, we saw that Baby A was head down and Baby B was breach. I clapped and said "oh good job Baby A! Thank you for being head down!" Not 10 seconds later, Baby B flipped around as if to say, "look mom! I can do it too!" It made me laugh.

We took all the measurements and checked for heart defects, spinal problems, cleft lips, etc. In fact, Baby A had the umbilical cord across his face. (HIS. I love being able to say that. :)) And we needed him to move so we could see his lips. The ultrasound tech prodded him a little bit through my belly and we were able to watch him wake up, arch his back, roll over, and go back to sleep. Seeing him react was so cute!

They're such little people already! Baby A is measuring 20 weeks exactly as he should be and weighs 11oz. Baby B is measuring 20 weeks 6 days and weighs 14oz, but the doctor said it's because he's just taller than Baby A, which really isn't too shocking in our family. We're long people. :) Both babies are getting enough blood and nutrients, which is nice because if one starts taking nutrients from the other we'll have to look at emergency delivery options.

Cameron has been so cute. I think seeing them and knowing the genders has really helped the reality of all this sink in for him. He is such a proud dad. Out of nowhere he keeps saying "two boys!! TWO BOYS!"

As for me, my first thought at finding out I have two sons on the way was:

"I'm gonna love you so much that no girl will ever be good enough for you!"

(2 points to anyone who can name that quote)

[caption id="attachment_1683" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Baby A"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1684" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Baby B"][/caption]

And for the sake of consistency:

How far along? 20 Weeks 1 Day
Total weight gain/loss: +24
Maternity clothes? Yes. I tried my "fat jeans" on a couple days ago. It lasted about 10 minutes before they made me physically sick. lol.
Best moment this week: Finding out the genders and telling everyone! There are so many fun announcements to make when you're expecting. Things I've dreamt about my entire life. And they did not disappoint.
Movement: Yes. :) They are kicking like crazy! The car ride to AZ was so fun because they kicked so often. I think it has something to do with where my seatbelt hits me.
Waist Diameter:  38″ <--I'm measuring 28 weeks for a singleton pregnancy.
Food cravings: Vinegar and Potatoes. Also, hot fries. Anyone from Flagstaff remember "tom's hot fries"? I had them in high school a bunch and I don't think they make them anymore. BUT Cheetos has made a pretty decent substitute. It's not quite the same, but it's good enough!
Labor Signs: None, thank heavens. :)
Belly Button in or out? Totally still in. And actually more in than it has been. Woot!
What I miss: NOTHING! I love this week. :)
What I am looking forward to: Baby shopping on Black Friday. :) :)
Milestones: We know the genders!!
Realization of the week: We are not only being blessed with two sons. Our parents are being blessed with two grandsons. Our siblings with two nephews, and on and on. These boys are coming into an incredible family. And I am so grateful.

(I will post pictures as soon as I get them. My mom has most of them. The rest got accidentally left in Utah. I figured making everyone wait until Monday would not make me many friends. :))

19 Week Update

How far along? 19 Weeks 3 Days
Total weight gain/loss: +22 <– and proud of it! Grow babies grow!
Maternity clothes? Yes. That’s all. My mom called me today with her latest plan for making more maternity pants. The woman is a lifesaver.
Best moment this week: Cam feeling the babes kick! They're sneaky little guys. A lot of the time they'll give 3 big kicks all at once just to get me excited and by the time Cam comes to try and feel, they are all tuckered out and completely still. BUT, around 8 every night, they go a little crazy. I was waiting for them to start kicking and so was Cam. It was so cool to see his face light up "was that one?!" His face when he felt the first kick (and then 2 more!) will go down as one of my favorite moments of our marriage. Our little family really is growing!
Movement: Yes. :) It makes me so happy to know they are healthy, alive, and that they have legs. :) lol.
Waist Diameter:  37" I actually look pregnant! It's awesome!
Food cravings: Found out this week that Starburst makes a bag of "favo-reds" which means all the red flavors are in a bag. Oh. My. Gosh. I ate 50 before I realized what was going on.
Labor Signs: None, thank heavens. :) But my belly does get tight and sore fast if I am walking around too much.
Belly Button in or out? Totally still in, but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time! It’s also sore. But judging from the comments of last week's update, the battle of the belly button will wage for a while
What I miss: Being able to cuddle up close to Cam. My belly is finally getting in the way! I had an emotional breakdown because I couldn't remember the last time he just held me. (It was probably, oh, 2 days earlier, but rational breakdowns are not my forte.) We've since gotten more creative and I've been less picky about how comfortable I really have to be to enjoy cuddling.
What I am looking forward to: FOUR DAYS UNTIL OUR ULTRASOUND! I am so dang excited to see our babes again! I haven't seen them since week 9. It seems like such a long time ago and I can't even imagine how they've changed! As far as I've seen, they are cute little glow-worms with nubs for arms and legs. I can't wait to see BABIES in there. I'm preparing for my mind to be blown.
Milestones: Cam feeling kicks from the outside! Also, we are now halfway to MY goal. :) woo!
Realization of the week: These babies will have physical traits from me and Cam. I had a dream that we had a little girl and she had my eyes. Cam said (in the dream) that he could see me in her. And then I cried. I can't wait to meet them and get to know them and pick out features. Little noses, toes, eyes, ears, hands, the list goes on. How incredible is it that these babies are already people?

Also, it is really hard to commit to looking decent once a week for these pictures. oh boy. lol. The last two have been taken on date night because I try to look normal anyhow.

18 Week Update

How far along? 18 Weeks 3 Days
Total weight gain/loss: +18 <-- I'm for real going to stop posting these numbers.
Maternity clothes? Yes. That's all. Also, my own "lounge" shirts no longer fit. I have busted into Cam's side of the closet.
Best moment this week: Waking up in the middle of the night after a really bad dream and having Cam to make me feel better. I love that he doesn't care if I wake him up, he's completely willing to comfort me, wrap me up, and keep me safe. I love him. Also, getting my hair cut by my brilliant friend, Lisa. She is seriously the best stylist I've ever had. What a blast to get to catch up AND have the best bangs EVER by the end of the night.
Movement: All. The. Time. It's awesome! Cam still hasn't been able to feel them, and I actually can't feel them from the outside yet either. It's only a matter of time though.
Waist Diameter:  I can't find the tape measure. No really. I even tried using a ribbon and measuring that with Cam's industrial tape measure. I can't find that either.
Food cravings: Water and vinegar. I downed an entire bag of salt and vinegar chips for breakfast the other day. Pure bliss. Also, pink starbursts. There is nothing better.
Labor Signs: None, thank heavens. :)
Belly Button in or out? Totally still in, but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time! It's also sore. The "pop" is upon us!
What I miss: Having motivation to do anything BUT work on baby things. I am trying to finish up all the (gender-neutral) projects I have going right now so that once we find out the genders, I can really dive into my hopeful days list.
What I am looking forward to: Finding out the genders! We are less than 2 weeks away! However, that should really be next week's entry for what I'm looking forward to. So, tonight Cameron and I are decorating for Christmas. Wahoo! I bought HP 7.2 and Michael Buble's Christmas CD this morning and we are busting out the hot cocoa, tree, and decorations tonight! I can't wait! [If you're a Thanksgiving Purist, do not bring your rain to my parade. We decorate early because we go out of town for Thanksgiving and again for Christmas. 2 weeks of Christmas cheer really isn't enough, so if we were staying home for the holidays, we would probably consider holding off until after Turkey Day.]
Milestones: Half Way There! My Dr. said he's sending me running around the block if I make it to 36 weeks, so 18 weeks marks the half way point. I'm still mentally shooting to make it to 38 weeks, but we need to be prepared for anything from 34 weeks on.
Realization of the week: I am not super woman. I need rest. I also need to get up and get ready for the day otherwise I feel like a bum for the next 12 hours. But an afternoon nap can be game-changing. Also, these babes have completely taken over my body. I am merely "along for the ride," as my mom says. I couldn't be happier though. :) I hope they're nice and cozy for the next 4-5 months!

17 Week Update

How far along? 17 Weeks exactly
Total weight gain/loss: +15
Maternity clothes? Mom came into town and made me the stretchy black pants you can see in the week 17 picture. She also made me a stretchy grey floor-length skirt. I would rather wear them than anything else I own. They are fantastic.
Best moment this week: Getting to talk to a bunch of friends we hadn't seen in over a year at the Halloween party last night! Cam and I went as an army man and a bomb. (a.k.a. a hormonal expectant wife and her husband). The back of my shirt said "Caution: Short Fuse". Cam's said "Beware of Wife." We had a total blast at the party.
Movement: Every now and again. Cam went to Dallas this weekend with my dad and brothers and when he gave me a hug goodbye at the airport the babes were kicking against his stomach harder than I've ever felt! I asked him if he could feel them. Still no, but it's so cool to me! I give it a couple more weeks until he can feel them. They're getting so strong!
Waist Diameter:  36.5"
Food cravings: Just food. In general. I still just really like salty things. Sweets, I can stomach, but they just aren't that enjoyable to me. Also cheese. I really love cheese. Is 9:30 too early for mac n cheese?
Labor Signs: None, thank heavens. :)
Belly Button in or out? Totally still in, but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time!
What I miss: Sleeping. I found a GREAT position to sleep in 2 nights ago and woke up feeling better than I have in weeks, but last night...no dice. My hips are sore, sore, sore. I last about 30 minutes on each side before I wake up and roll over.
What I am looking forward to: Eating. lol. I dove into our meal plan for 2012 complete with date nights and shopping lists. November is taken care of and we're testing it out this month. I'm working from home now, so I have a bit more freedom of what I can make. There are quite a few recipes I've wanted to try but lacked the energy to do so. In all honesty, I haven't planned meals, gone shopping, etc. since we started IVF back in June. We've kind of been in survival mode and it's time to snap out of it.
Milestones: I'm currently measuring 22 weeks (for a singleton pregnancy). The doctor was thrilled and said that our babes are probably already taller than average (go figure). The appointment went really well AND I got to schedule our 20 week appointment and ultrasound! 3 short weeks until we find out the genders!!
Realization of the week: There are 2 babies growing inside of me. And they will be fine. I also came to the beautiful realization that I can do this. I can be a stay-at-home wife and mother. (I got laid off at work last Tuesday...hence the lack of update, but it turns out the person who fired me didn't have the authority to fire me and so in order to clean up their mess I get to work from home). I've gained a lot of confidence in my ability to clean the house, plan meals, take care of Cam, and take care of myself and these babes. It feels so good.

Also, this pregnancy is flying by. I keep looking forward waiting for the next thing, but I really do like being pregnant right now. It blows my mind that there are babies inside of me. That my body knows what to do with them to help them grow and develop. It's miraculous.

And because of the lack of update for 16 weeks, here's a picture. You'll have to excuse the puffy eyes. There were a lot of tears that day. (stupid work drama).

Week 16 Update

How far along? 16 Weeks exactly
Total weight gain/loss: +12.5
Maternity clothes? YES. My sweet mom bought knit fabric to make me stretchy black pants (that are long enough) and a grey maxi skirt (that is also long enough). The thought of those stretchy waistbands makes my heart go pitter-pat.
Best moment this week: After a completely terrible flight Monday morning, the cabin de-pressurized and I felt the biggest kick! It’s the first time I have had no doubt it was one of the babies. I was beaming from there on out. Because of the timing (with the cabin de-pressurizing and such) I doubt it will be consistent for a few more weeks, but it was super cool!
Movement: See above :)
Waist Diameter: [I'm forcing myself to bite the bullet and actually do this one this week.]
Food cravings: I wanted Nacho Cheese from Taco Bell yesterday. Bad. I believe Cameron was trying to convince me that we needed to pre-order Harry Potter 7 part 2 on BluRay yesterday and I told him that if he took me to Taco Bell he could order the movie. (what a deal for him, eh?!)
Gender: Probably won’t find out until week 20.
Labor Signs: None, thank heavens. :)
Belly Button in or out? Totally still in, but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time!
What I miss: Liking the way Cam smells. lol. Poor guy. If the tiniest bit of cologne is on his person, I will smell it and I won’t even be able to handle sitting next to him, let alone having his arm around me. Cam really likes smelling nice, so we’re both anxious for that particular stage to be over.
What I am looking forward to: Seeing all the family this weekend at Kiara’s wedding! It’ll be so fun. Also, Cam has his A-game on to make the drive not so miserable. Love him.
Milestones: Someone asked me when I was due flat out. Yay for not just looking fat anymore! Also, I threw up in the morning for the very first time yesterday. I’ve always just been sick at night. I must say, I’ve always wondered why it was called “morning sickness”. Now I know. I should also say, I very much prefer evening sickness. ALSO, I am less than 9 weeks away from my very last day at work. Single digits baby!
Realization of the week: I will probably be hungry until further notice. It doesn’t matter if I’ve eaten in the past 5 minutes or not, because if I eat one bite too many it’ll all come right back up the chute. A lot of what I thought was important for these babes is quickly falling away. I don’t need a designer nursery. I don’t need a closet full of cute clothes. I don’t need the entire toy section in my living room. I am quite content with a pack-and-play until the babes are too big to share a crib. I need them healthy and safe and in my arms. The rest is just a bonus.

Bigger in Texas

We went to Texas a couple weekends ago to look for housing for when we go off to Chiropractic school next summer. (We bought the tickets long before IVF was even on our radar and were planning to start school in January...clearly the plan has changed.) BUT, we had the plane tickets and weren't about to spend an extra $400 to reschedule the flights, so off to Dallas we went.

After a nice little delay that put us back about an hour and a half, we arrived in Dallas and took the shuttle to the car rental place. I stayed with our bags while Cam waited in line. I often joke about how Cam is an advertiser's dream. He sees an ad and immediately thinks "YES! We should buy that!" Luckily, I graduated in advertising, so he is an advertiser's dream in way more than one way. However, mixing Cam with salesmen is never a good idea. 40 minutes later I'm still waiting for him to pick up our already-paid-for-and-picked-out car. My texts went from "Hey, I'm totally checking out your butt right now." to "What is going on?" to "Honey, have you asked her to marry you yet? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT OVER THERE?! Let's go!" Apparently, he was being schmoozed. Before he had realized what was going on, the saleslady had upgraded us to a mid-sized SUV for "only" $140 more. Once that got straightened out, he got our original car choice, got the keys, and away we went. I put my foot down about renting a GPS from the car rental place and texted a friend to look up directions for me to the nearest WalMart, so we could just buy a GPS for $30 more than the rental would cost. We drove around the airport (and in and out of the parking pay stalls) 3 times before finally figuring out how to get out of there. Luckily, I was still laughing at this point. We made it to WalMart and made a decision on which GPS we wanted. Us naive Utahns tried to walk out of the electronics department with it. Apparently that's a no-no. The clerk held it at the electronics desk until we came back with the toothbrushes we also needed. Finally, we got back to the car. My job was to open, set-up, and program the GPS to get us to this cute girl's house.

Us naive Utahns did not account for the "YOU WILL NOT STEAL THIS" packaging the GPS came in. While I hacked away at the industrial strength plastic with a spare key, Cam chose a random freeway and headed out. (Impatience at its finest). I was getting nowhere fast, so Cam exited and pulled into a parking lot to try and save the day.

And then police lights and a spotlight were upon us. Literally, less than 1 minute later.

We had parked in a handicap stall.

Cops in Dallas are not near as nice as the ones in Utah.

After taking Cam's license for scrutiny and listening to us stumble over our story, the cop assured us that he did not, in fact, have a pair of scissors or a knife that would help us open our GPS system and giving us a warning, we set off to find a gas station that might be able to help us open the packaging.

We stopped at the nearest gas station and nearly turned into another handicapped stall, but this time we knew better. We went around the corner, parked (legally), and Cam went inside to open the GPS while I sat in the locked car and tried to avoid looking at all the interesting people in the parking lot. Cam returned triumphant (after a significant delay) which was due to the person in front of him wanting to know exactly how many cigarettes were in a particular carton. The clerk didn't know, so he opened the carton and counted each individual one. However, the brainiac had scissors. Cam returned to the car with the GPS system WITHOUT its #%$#( casing held high over his head.

I set it up, input the address, installed the windshield mount and we were on our way. But the happy little voice the declares the directions was nowhere to be heard. After reassuring Cam that I had already turned the volume up to full blast (3 times), we figured out that we had a faulty GPS. So we tried our best to read the map, made a few U-turns and finally made it to our beds a little after midnight.

Cam slept really well, though. lol. And the Dallas humidity greeted him with gusto the next morning. He had the best bed-head I've ever seen. I truly wish I could've gotten a 360 degree shot.

We spent the next 3 days visiting the school, talking to other students, finding a nice neighborhood to live in and touring apartment complex after apartment complex. We also dove right in to Texas culture and enjoyed some GREAT tex-mex, our first Texas High School Football game, and ate at Buffalo Wild Wings (twice).

Everyone in Texas is SO NICE. We walked up to the football stadium (which is unlike anything I've ever seen) got in line to buy tickets, and someone just handed us 2 for free. Did you know they have assigned seating at the HS football games? Well they do, and the tickets were for the first row!

Cam bought me a pickle and a pretzel at the concession stand (after we made it past all the tailgaters). And because the pretzel was only warm and not hot, they gave it to me for free. We took our seats and listened to all the parents of the players behind us. Mostly, we came to the conclusion that our high schools were, in fact, lame. They had inflatable tunnels in the shape of the mascots heads for the teams to run out of and dance line/cheerleaders (HUNDREDS OF THEM) lined the field. It blew the socks off most college games I've been to. No joke.

Oh yeah. And the marching band had 650 members in it.

Our new brother-in-law was in the band in high school. We razzed him about it a bit when we found out. He's from Dallas. We also came to the conclusion that we owe him an apology. There is nothing lame about band in Texas. Nothing.

We got home Monday around lunchtime and Cam took me to Taco Bell to get some nacho cheese sauce that I just had to have. Lucky man. He's been waiting for me to crave taco bell since we got married.

Week 15 Update -- HellOoo Down There!

This is all going by really fast. I feel like since we shared our little video about a month ago, the weeks are just flying by. I sure hope I still feel this way when I'm 30 weeks along and trying to convince myself that I really do want these babes to grow for another 6-8 weeks.



How far along? 15 Weeks exactly
Total weight gain/loss: +13
Maternity clothes? Found a skirt for Kiara's wedding that has the most blissful waistband ever. I wore it all day Sunday even while driving across the greater Dallas area. Cam asked if I'd like to change before going and I mentioned to him that this skirt is better than any pair of jeans I own. Fantastic. Also, the weather cooled down enough for me to wear my sweaters! I have a few nice long sweaters that don't cling to me and don't require a shirt underneath to make modest. win-win-win.
Best moment this week: After a completely terrible flight Monday morning, the cabin de-pressurized and I felt the biggest kick! It's the first time I have had no doubt it was one of the babies. I was beaming from there on out. Because of the timing (with the cabin de-pressurizing and such) I doubt it will be consistent for a few more weeks, but it was super cool!
Movement: See above :)
Waist Diameter: [I'm forcing myself to bite the bullet and actually do this one this week.]
Food cravings: I wanted Nacho Cheese from Taco Bell yesterday. Bad. I believe Cameron was trying to convince me that we needed to pre-order Harry Potter 7 part 2 on BluRay yesterday and I told him that if he took me to Taco Bell he could order the movie. (what a deal for him, eh?!)
Gender: Probably won’t find out until week 20.
Labor Signs: None, thank heavens. :)
Belly Button in or out? Totally still in, but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time!
What I miss: Liking the way Cam smells. lol. Poor guy. If the tiniest bit of cologne is on his person, I will smell it and I won't even be able to handle sitting next to him, let alone having his arm around me. Cam really likes smelling nice, so we're both anxious for that particular stage to be over.
What I am looking forward to: Seeing all the family this weekend at Kiara's wedding! It'll be so fun. Also, Cam has his A-game on to make the drive not so miserable. Love him.
Milestones: Someone asked me when I was due flat out. Yay for not just looking fat anymore! Also, I threw up in the morning for the very first time yesterday. I've always just been sick at night. I must say, I've always wondered why it was called "morning sickness". Now I know. I should also say, I very much prefer evening sickness. ALSO, I am less than 9 weeks away from my very last day at work. Single digits baby!
Realization of the week: I will probably be hungry until further notice. It doesn't matter if I've eaten in the past 5 minutes or not, because if I eat one bite too many it'll all come right back up the chute. A lot of what I thought was important for these babes is quickly falling away. I don't need a designer nursery. I don't need a closet full of cute clothes. I don't need the entire toy section in my living room. I am quite content with a pack-and-play until the babes are too big to share a crib. I need them healthy and safe and in my arms. The rest is just a bonus.

14 Week Update

Coming to you LIVE from Dallas! (We're house hunting for when the babes come.) And it's been one heck of a trip...and we've only been here 24 hours. lol. The blog post about this trip is going to be hilarious. Stay tuned.

How far along? 14 Weeks, 2 days.
Total weight gain/loss: I'm not good at stepping on a scale. It freaks me out. I'm trying not to stress about gaining enough weight or gaining too much.
Maternity clothes? Maternity pants still win every morning. I tried wearing a pair of my regular pants on Tuesday and I've never felt so sick in my life. Seriously, fetal position on the floor sick. SO, we'll be going for stretchy waistbands from here on out.
Best moment this week: The e-mails from thebump.com. The babes are the size of lemons :) I love that. They used to be poppyseeds. *sigh* they grow up so fast. Also, proper communication resulted in Cam lowering the intensity of his back rubs a bit.
Movement: A little bit? I think the babes like Mexican food. We ate Mexican tonight and the spicy-ness made things all sorts of exciting. I'm afraid to label it as "I FELT THE BABIES!" because, as a first time mom, I'm not exactly sure what I'm feeling or what I'm supposed to be feeling.
Waist Diameter: Cam can still fit his arms around me. Although, I'm for sure showing. I think it's getting more normal to me, though. I feel like my belly disappears sometimes, but Cam assures me that it most definitely does not. So I must just be getting used to it.
Food cravings: Food. In general. Just FOOD. I feel like I've turned the corner from food aversions/cravings to if it is edible, and within arms reach it's going down the chute. I have 2 breakfasts every morning, about 90 minutes apart, a large lunch, snacks all afternoon, dinner, and water water water. It's fabulous. Although I can go from content to starvingohmygoshi'mshakingandgonnadie in a matter of seconds.
Gender: Probably won’t find out until week 20.
Labor Signs: None, thank heavens. :)
Belly Button in or out? Totally still in, but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time!
What I miss: Nothing. We’ve been looking forward to this for so long! (Although, I will say that I saw a commercial for Six Flags today and I do love the roller coasters.)
What I am looking forward to: Finding a home for our growing family! It's such a weird feeling to fly into a huge city and know that you'll be moving there within a year. But looking at apartments has taken on a whole new point-of-view. We see the second bedroom as a nursery instead of a guest room. I have a strange attraction to gated communities and care very much if the fence around the pool looks sturdy and has slats that a toddler couldn't fit through.
Milestones: Second Trimester Officially!! WOO!
Realization of the week: Cam is the hottest soon-to-be dad ever.

Mountains and Valleys

For the past few months, Cam and I have been pretty much on cloud 9. After 2.5 years of working and crying and praying and hoping and everything else that comes along with infertility, we are expecting! We've come to the top of the mountain. We did it!

I caught myself, during General Conference, listening to all the talks about trials and kind of blowing them off. I thought, "these don't apply to me. We conquered our trial."

And while, yes, I believe that our successes deserve to be celebrated and recognized, there is a whole lot wrong with this mentality.

It bothered me that talks I would have clung to during the past few years now got ignored or disregarded in my mind. And I tried to figure out what I was supposed to learn from this realization.

When we first got our diagnosis, my initial thought was "this isn't about me." It helped me stay away from the "poor me" that was so easy to slip into. This was about my babies, about my husband, about my family. Not to say that there wasn't a ton of dark days, crying in the shower, etc. But I gained an incredible understanding of eternal perspective and the power it holds. That perspective helped me keep from getting bitter, questioning God, and turning against Cam (for the most part.)

Basically, I was on my A-game spiritually.

And you will never hear me say I would trade infertility for anything. I learned more about myself, my Savior, my Heavenly Father, my marriage, my children in the past 2 years than I ever could have without it. And I am grateful for it.

The thing is, I really hope my trials aren't over. (And considering there are two little peaches in my belly, I'm pretty sure they aren't!) While everything when you're in the trenches seems horrible, I truly believe that during our time of want, our Heavenly Father had never been more aware of us.

Spiritually speaking, I have totally slacked since we got our wonderful news. It's been 3 months and I have barely cracked my scriptures open outside of our family study.

How terrible to say "thanks! We got what we wanted! We don't need you anymore!" That could never be further from the truth. I need a perspective shift, again. To realize that I need my Heavenly Father more than ever to guide me as I prepare for this responsibility. To realize that I need His help to get me back on my feet and get my head around being a stay-at-home wife and mother. To realize that I need His help in all aspects of my life, not just ones I pick and choose.

Bottom line is, the trials are far from over. I need to keep my guard up and continually be aware of the influence of Satan around me and my family. Luckily, I feel prepared to deal with just about anything so long as Cam is by my side. And he is. Always.

Those talks still apply to me. I think it's time to go back and really listen to them with an open heart and learn all that I can from the inspired counsel given to me.

Because there is a serious high when you reach the top of the mountain, and I can't believe that I will never get to feel that exhale, that triumph, that relief, that joy, that pride again.

I hope there are plenty of mountains in our future. And the time to prepare for them are when we're enjoying the beautiful valleys.

13 Week Update

Disclaimer: I have debated back and forth whether or not to write weekly updates. I have many infertile friends who deeply want to have children and the less news about pregnancy the better, in most situations. I had a really great talk with a friend this morning, though, and she made a few wonderful points. #1. This blog never was nor was it ever intended to be an infertility blog. It has always been our family blog with bits of infertility on it, just as infertility is only a part of our life. #2. As we are infertile, I don't know how many times I will get the opportunity to be pregnant. If the rest of our children come to our family through the miracle of adoption, I will want a good record of my experiences now, just as I will keep a good record of their adoption story in the future if we are blessed that way. #3. As soon as I found out we were expecting twins, I sought out every single weekly pregnancy update series of twin pregnancies I could find. I didn't care if they happened on their own or if they needed fertility treatments to get there. They were twin pregnancies and I was going to go through a similar experience...an experience I know absolutely nothing about. So, I'm thinking the pros outweigh the cons here. I'll be honest, during the tough times I blocked a few blogs from my reel. I completely understand if these aren't read or commented on or whatever. It's mostly for me and any twin mamas that happen to come by as intimidated by the blessings in their bellies as I am. When it comes down to it, this is our family. It has always been our family. And we are grateful for the two newest members of our family.

How far along? 13 Weeks, exactly.
Total weight gain/loss: as of this moment, +10. If we go by my pre-IVF weight, it's more like +12. But I was nice and round by the time IVF ended.
Maternity clothes? Maternity pants are magical. I still can, however, fit into one pair of my skinny jeans. I've bought a few things that were on sale and will be nice in the winter months, but they don't fit yet. The one pair of maternity pants I have bought, though, are the only part of getting dressed that doesn't stress me out :) Everything else looks so tight to me!
Best moment this week: Hearing the heartbeats on Friday and being treated like a normal pregnant woman at the OB instead of a pregnant woman we all have to walk on pins and needles around. Also, getting new pillows. I haven't slept that well in ages. It was the first time I've woken up ready to greet the day since we found out we were expecting!
Movement: None yet. My friend felt her baby move just yesterday and she is 2 weeks ahead of me, so hopefully it won't be long!
Waist Diameter: [coming soon]
Food cravings: Mostly veggies, sometimes fruit. No red meat (which resulted in mild anemia), even chicken makes me queasy. Just when I think the sickness is over, the puking starts again. I will say that I do feel extremely blessed with the sickness. I've only actually puked a handful of times, so I'll definitely count my blessings! I'm also just constantly thirsty.
Gender: Probably won't find out until week 20.
Labor Signs: None, thank heavens. :)
Belly Button in or out? Totally still in, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time!
What I miss: Nothing. We've been looking forward to this for so long!
What I am looking forward to: The Sing-Off. Maybe feeling the babes soon? And Cam promised me dessert at The Chocolate tonight.
Milestones: Went to a cousin's house last night and she squealed and said "You're showing!!" So apparently, it's getting more obvious I'm not just pudgy, but there are babies in there. :)
Realization of the week: The next time we watch General Conference, we will each have a baby in our arms. :)

 

A little announcement... or 2 :)

Eventually from Lilly McDowell on Vimeo.

sizzle

This morning, I woke up late, threw my hair in a ponytail and headed out the door for work with a piece of toast hanging out of my mouth.

Not 5 minutes ago, a colleague was in mid-conversation with the dean's secretary and says to me, "Is that a hickey or a curling iron burn?"

Insert stomach drop.

I can feel my face flushing as I say it's a flat-iron burn.

Everyone knows that's a lie.

Welp.

Love happens.

Apparently, things are still sizzling over at our house. In case you were wondering. (as I'm sure you were.)

Excuse me while I crawl under my desk.

(it's a dang good thing he's so cute.)

So Sweet.

This boy fell in love with me over 3 years ago.

And I am dang lucky, because as soon as I met him I knew, "If he will have me, I will marry him. If he won't I'll be single forever, because now I know that a man like him exists."

He is incredible. More importantly our marriage is incredible. And it is because of him.

I got to sit next to him in church yesterday. His arm around me, holding my hands. We were intertwined the whole meeting.

There is something about being palm to palm with the man that you love. Something warm and reassuring. And it hit me hard that I am his. And he is mine.

Somehow, he came to the conclusion that I am cool enough to spend eternity with. Me. And no one else.

I love him.

So. Dang. Much.

I wish I could put into words how it makes me feel when he looks at me in a way that is just for me.

Or when he wakes me up by rubbing my back and kissing my forehead.

Or narrates the mundane details of our lives in a song.

Or smiles his truly content, not for the camera, peaceful, blissful smile.

The smile that tells me I'm doing something right.

Or when he says everything with his eyes. His beautiful green eyes.

Or when he serenades me on the piano while I'm attempting to make dinner.

Or has the dishes done before I even come back from the bathroom.

Or leaves me a love note for no good reason. Just because.

Or when I finally realize that all the little things that he does are to show me that our marriage is the most important thing in his life. That he will fight for it and work for it and forgive and try again and be by my side no matter how terribly I screw up or lose sight of what's important.

I am his and he is mine.

And it is so sweet.

Snape, Snape, Severus Snape

Well, the HP 7.2 premiere happened over a month ago and I have yet to document it. Cam's going slightly nuts because it was possibly his most favorite day ever and if it's not on the blog, it's like I wasn't as excited about it. Although, that's probably partly true. It's hard to be as excited about Harry Potter as Cam. I think I do a pretty good job though! And, luckily, he found his hp soulmate. Someone who knows just as much mindless trivia as him and who gets jazzed up at the idea of embellishing random things with deathly hallows symbols: Allen. Just as luckily, I like Allen's wife more than just about anyone. :)

We decided to throw a bit of a party to kill time before the premiere. HP treats and a showing of HP 7.1 filled the night.



Naturally, the invitations were sent by owl. Cam and I made shirts. (Enter the awesomeness that is the silhouette + freezer paper. WOW!)

(I really wouldn't wear this shirt if I were going as "me." However, we were dressing up as Darth Vader and Princess Leia, so Leia would be sleazy...lol. It made sense to me!)

My adorable sister in law helped me make the mugs for butterbeer. The silhouette saved the day here too.

The spread.

Butterbeer Mugs. a.k.a. party favors.

Chocolate Frogs

Golden Snitches

My hot date with his SO GOOD butterbeer. Wow that stuff was incredible.

And then we left for the theater. Cam donned his mask and cape, and wielded his light saber. As soon as we walked through the door the crowd erupted into cheers! It was hilarious! We got our tickets and popcorn and went into our theater. Again, Cam walked through the door and people stood up and started singing the death march. Girls were asking to take pictures with him. We loved our costumes, but neither of us were expecting a reaction like that! Too fun.

We LOVED the movie. Laughed, cried, cheered, yelled at the screen. It was a blast. There's an energy at midnight showings that you don't get anywhere else. It's a blast.

Our friends' awesome shirts.

After the movie.

I have no idea how we didn't get a single picture with these guys. But they are some of our best friends.

LOVE THEM!

How You Doin'?

We have been off the map for a while. I'll be honest it has been awesome to not "report" to the internet/social media networks for a while. Family has been in town. Cam and I have been having Harry Potter and Friends marathons. Reading, Canning, Cooking, Knitting, Designing, Playing, Talking - we're really having a blast! For those of you who are wondering how the auction went, it went REALLY well! We are still waiting for a couple of payments from the winners, and when I get them I'll be sure to let you know the final total!

I'm sure you're all just dying to know what we've been doing for the past month or so, so here's a picture update.

We went to this sweet family's sealing.

Kiara got stuck in the hospital. Ouch! But her cute man took such great care of her, that the rest of us could just enjoy talking and laughing and catching up. Spoiler alert: They get engaged about a week later. :)

On the 4th of July, we found this car in the parking lot. It was kind of awesome.

We went to the Stadium of Fire with the McGuire side of the family. Brad Paisley and David Archuleta made for a really fun time! It's my favorite way to celebrate the 4th of July.

I really love rockin' out with my brothers. They are the best interpretive dancers, ever.

Monday morning, we went to the 4th of July parade in Provo after a pancake breakfast that some friends got us free passes to. Yum!

Cam met Cecil O. Samuelson. It made his day.

Darth also made an appearance.

We pulled the couch up for some serious vegging and a Mario Kart tournament for the rest of the day.

Saw these pups enjoying the summer sunshine. Their drivers were also very cool for the 10 seconds we talked.

This rainbow happened shortly thereafter. It was so bright!

Which brings us to the Harry Potter midnight showing...and as I promised Cam it would get its own post, it will.

It deserves it.